Grief affects everyone in very different ways and is unpredictable in how and when it can affect you.

According to renowned author and grief expert Dr Bill Webster: “Grief is a normal reaction to what is always an unwelcome event.”

However, we sometimes need a little bit of extra help to process our feelings and to move forwards with our lives.

Here are some of the signs that it may be time to reach out for support:

• Feeling stuck in your grief.

Whilst there isn’t a timescale on grief, how you feel does tend to change over time. If, after a few months, you still feel exactly the same as you did at the time of the loss, it may be a sign that you need a little bit of extra help to start working through that grief.

• Difficulty moving past anger and guilt.

Anger and guilt are very common emotions in grief. Even if you know the feelings are not logical, they are still very real. Such emotions are not necessarily ‘bad’ or ‘unhealthy’ to experience, but if you are finding them hard to move past, or that they are becoming consuming, it can help to work through them with a counsellor.

• Difficulty investing in your life again.

One of the biggest challenges we have when someone we love dies is rebuilding our lives without them in it. This can be difficult for many reasons – including feeling guilty for starting to look beyond your grief, or not knowing where to start in what feels like a hopeless situation. Counselling can help you find the confidence and direction to take the first steps.

• Having thoughts about hurting yourself.

Having thoughts about hurting yourself is a strong signal that your current methods of coping are not working well enough. Please take such thoughts seriously and reach out for help from a professional counsellor.

• If you are finding it hard to function and be present in day-to-day life.

If your grief is impacting your work, health or other relationships in a negative way, it is important to seek help to work through your feelings. Counselling can help you release emotions and find practical solutions to the problems you are facing, rather than them taking over your life.

• If you find yourself too busy to process the loss.

People are often too busy to process their loss. As a direct result of the death, you have more to do such as taking care of others also grieving the person, increased childcare responsibilities or organising your loved one’s affairs. It may also be that you are keeping busy to avoid dealing with your emotions.  This is extremely common as it’s natural to avoid something you know will cause you pain. Unfortunately, grief doesn’t just go away and it does need to be worked through in order for it to hold less power over you. Counselling can help you find an hour a week in your busy schedule to park everything else and have time just for you and your feelings.

For more information on what to expect from a grief counselling session or to book an appointment please contact Fay Bloor on 01332 345268.