Coping With Grief on Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day is yet another calendar date that cruelly reminds us of what we are missing since we lost our loved one.
I think it is safe to say that Sunday March 14 will be difficult for even more people after such a traumatic year – whether you are grieving the loss of your mother, partner or child and whenever they died.
We are often made to feel like we should rush through grief and get back to “normal” within a few weeks. But when we are experiencing grief, often it isn’t clear what “normal” even is anymore.
Grief is exhausting – emotionally, physically and mentally – and these special days remind us of what life used to be life before the fog of grief appeared.
So, when making plans for Mother’s Day – go easy on yourself, know your limitations and don’t push yourself too far too soon.
On Mother’s Day, try to take an hour or so to look after yourself, take a bath, read a book or even take a nap. Spend some uninterrupted attention on you as your loved one wouldn’t want you to neglect yourself.
It will obviously be difficult to spend time with other people but take the opportunity to call, Zoom or meet up with one other for a walk if you can and allow yourself some time to reflect on happy memories.
You could even write a Mother’s Day card to your loved one, telling them all the things that you wish you could if they were here.
I also find that creating a special memory box or jar is incredibly comforting. Write down all your favourite memories of your loved one onto individual pieces of paper and put them into the jar so that you and your family can read some of the memories on a particularly difficult day.
Whatever your circumstances, be gentle with yourself, set aside some quiet time for reflection and talk to a trusted family member or friend about how you are feeling.
There is also wide-ranging support available to you including Cruse, SANDS and our own Dandelions Bereavement Support counselling service.