It will be a simple and peaceful service, with hymns, prayers and an opportunity to light a candle. During the service, we will read aloud the names of all of those whose funerals have taken place during the year at St. Edmund’s and St Nicholas’s in Allestree.

If you would like to attend the service, but the funeral did not take place at either of these locations, you can contact the Church office on 01332 552031 or emailed steds.stmatts@outlook.com

A form is required for attendance and can be found by clicking here.

All Soul’s Service at St Edmunds Church, Allestree will take place on 3rd November at 3pm and will last about 40 minutes. There will be refreshments after the service.

The post Special Bereavement Service at St Edmund’s Church, Allestree appeared first on Wathalls.

The new branch on Burton Road, Littleover, joins the existing branch network of Macklin Street in Derby city centre, Allestree, Alvaston, Ashbourne, Borrowash, Chaddesden and Burton-on-Trent.

The branch, which was previously a retail unit and has been fully refurbished by Wathall’s, is fully accessible with additional disabled parking, an arranging room and chapel of rest for families to visit their loved ones.

There is also a dedicated area with samples of headstones and memorials which are designed, created and installed by Wathall’s sister company, Art Stone Memorials.

Helen Wathall MBE, who is the fifth generation of her family to head up the company, explained that the opening of the Littleover branch was the next chapter in Wathall’s long-standing commitment to serving local communities.

She said: “Over the generations, we have always been dedicated to providing local services to local communities and to support people at times of greatest need in a number of ways.

“I have wanted to open a branch in Littleover for sometime to better serve the local community here who have previously come to our other Derby branches.

“I was therefore delighted to be able to secure these premises which give us the space to provide comfortable and private rooms for families to pre-plan and arrange funerals as well as a chapel for families to be able to say their final goodbyes to a loved one.

“The Littleover branch will also enable families to peruse the new ranges of urns and keepsakes as well as discuss memorials and headstones which are designed, created and installed by our sister company Art Stone Memorials.”

The branch is managed by experienced funeral arranger Karen Knighton who worked in the NHS before entering the funeral services profession and then joining Wathall’s in 2022.

She said: “Having worked at various other Wathall’s branches, I am delighted to have responsibility for the new Littleover branch.

“Littleover is also a thriving business community and we look forward to becoming part of the local efforts to provide a thriving and welcoming experience for local residents and visitors alike.”

“Funeral arranging is a very rewarding job and there is no better feeling when a family tells you how much you have helped make a horrible time in their lives more bearable.”

The post Wathall’s Further Expands With Littleover Branch Opening appeared first on Wathalls.

Our team is expanding and we have a flexible job opportunity in our casual driver/bearer role.

The Job and its requirements:

We are looking for a new team member to join us on a flexible yet permanent basis, who is available to assist us with carrying out the requirements of our busy diary and on call rota.

This is a varied role and there are no set hours, but wherever possible you will have good notice as to when we would require you.

The successful person will be positive and approachable with a smart appearance and be physically fit in order to carry out the work required. Being able to work within a team and have good communication skills is paramount to this role.

All applicants must have the following:

• Full clean UK driving licence
• Availability to work flexibly including day shifts, night shifts, flexitime  
• Availability throughout the week, for day shifts and night shifts

The duties:

• Working on an as and when required basis as a driver/bearer
• The availability to be on call, out of hours, to carry out the removal of the deceased
• Collecting the deceased from their place of death
• Washing company vehicles and such tasks when required
• Attending training necessary to fulfil the post to the highest standard

Rates of pay:

The hourly rate of pay is £11.75 – £12.50 depending on experience, with set rates of pay that apply for attending funerals and for being on call, and an hourly rate of pay will apply for all other duties. This will be discussed and explained further at interview stage.

A suit will be provided by the company, which you would be required to wear on all official business and our more casual, practical uniform for garage duties and such like. Experience is not required, although desirable, full and ongoing training will be given to any successful candidate.

If you think this job opportunity for a casual driver/bearer is for you, please send your CV to info@wathalls.co.uk for the attention of Mark Reed.

The post We Are Hiring a Driver/Bearer appeared first on Wathalls.

Nottingham Road in Chaddesden is already busy, despite it being a cold Monday morning and I arrive at the same time as many of our neighbouring businesses.  We are looking to sponsor a local charitable cause so, as I am opening up, I speak to one of them who I know has lived locally all her life to see if she has any suggestions.

I started my working life in the funeral industry as an apprentice straight from school with Pride Funeral Services which became part of the Wathall’s family seven years ago and I was delighted when I was offered the role as branch manager here. We opened here 18 months ago and it is great to be part of such a vibrant, close-knit business community who have been so welcoming.

I start the day catching up on emails and speaking to families who have lost a loved one overnight – sending them our Next Steps brochure which is really useful and setting up appointments with those who want to use our services from the Chaddesden branch.

I also contact the families who I am arranging funerals for at the moment to ensure they are OK and whether they need anything else. I find the job really rewarding – helping people at such a difficult time in their lives and helping to ensure that the funeral wishes of they and their loved ones are fulfilled.

Tuesday

I am looking after the management of the pre-paid funeral plans at the moment which is something I really enjoy and I have a virtual meeting with the area manager of Golden Charter who we organise the plans with to discuss some interesting future developments which will make life even easier for people with their later life planning.

I then have several telephone calls and a couple of short meetings with people about their own pre-paid funeral plans which is always a very positive experience. Many of the people who have enquired in recent times have done so after arranging funerals for their loved ones – recognising that having their funeral wishes written down and the arrangements put in place will ease the burden on their own family when they pass away. 

I also take delivery of ashes for two families and contact them to arrange for them to be collected.  They also want information about keepsakes and have ordered an urn.

Wednesday

We have high footfall in this area and, particularly as we are so close to the Nottingham Road cemetery, families often pop in or telephone to discuss memorials for their loved ones. The weather is lovely today which has encouraged people to get out and about so it’s a busy day with various people calling in. I therefore take down the details of what the family would like, give them or send as much information as I can so that they can start considering the options and contact my colleague at Art Stone Memorials in Stapenhill.  She’s the expert in these matters and I know I am leaving the families in capable hands.

The sun is still shining so, at lunchtime, I walk up to the road for a meeting of the Friends of Nottingham Road Cemetery group. We discuss future plans for tidying up an overgrown area and plans for other maintenance as well as plans for a future open day event.

Thursday

I have two appointments with families today to discuss funeral arrangements.  Most people like to come into the branch as it is a convenient and neutral place for family members to come together although I am happy to do home visits if that’s better for them.

One of the meetings is with a large family whose father had already confirmed his funeral wishes at a local crematorium.  The family are far more relaxed, knowing that their father’s wishes and this will be a wonderful celebration of his long and happy life. He was a life-long Rams fan and, as DCFC’s preferred partner, he wanted a Derby County coffin, order of service, floral tributes, ties and scarves. We also arrange for a brick to be produced by our sister company Art Stone Memorials which will feature in the memorial area at Pride Park stadium.

After agreeing all the details, we spend time looking through the photographs they have so that I can upload them for the visual tribute that they want to feature in the service. 

I also prepare the Chapel of Rest for a family who want to come and say their final private farewells the day before the funeral.  For many people, having their loved one close to home before the funeral is a great comfort so I greet the family, double check whether they would like the coffin to be open.  After they leave, I also make the final checks such as whether they will be wearing their jewellery or whether it needs to be returned to the family and seal the coffin ready for the funeral tomorrow.

Friday

I have two funerals leaving from here today so I get in particularly early as the floral tributes arrive first thing. The final checks are a very organised process which I and the funeral conductor carry out before the hearse leaves. I find this a particularly interesting aspect of the job as I would like to train to also be a funeral conductor as well as arranger in the future.

I also have a meeting today with a family who want to create some glass keepsakes for the deceased’s children and grandchildren to keep and they opt for the Wings of Hope keepsake urns which will be a great comfort to them.  She was a keen gardener so they also order a garden memorial which I then order from the Art Stone Memorials team.

That sets the tone nicely for my own weekend as I have plans to spend it in my own garden – planting some colour and caring for my favourite plants.

The post A Week in the Life Of Sarah Yeomans appeared first on Wathalls.

• Exercise – Even a gentle stroll around a park or outdoor space helps to get some extra steps in for the day. It’s no secret that even gentle exercise has numerous health and wellbeing benefits, such as helping to boost mood, helping to manage weight, as well as an increase in self-esteem and energy levels, all things that are often affected when someone we love dies.
• Vitamin D – Important for your immune system, energy levels as well as mood, bones and blood cells, being outside provides us with essential Vitamin D – even when it’s cloudy. Bereaved people often find themselves frequently run down and picking up colds more often, the natural boost in Vitamin D can help with this.
• A break from screens – Modern life often dictates that we spend half of our time in front of a screen of some sort or other. Being out and about in nature gives us (and our eyes) a much-needed break from that.
• Helps you to meet new people – Quite naturally when we’re out and about, we bump into new people and may stop for a brief chat, or leave it at a friendly hello, but even that can help to fight some of the loneliness that grief can bring. It stops us feeling invisible, and like life is just going on around us.
• Improves concentration – Studies suggest that the constant demands on our attention and time can severely impact our ability to concentrate, not to mention the brain fog from grief. Luckily, studies also show that time out in nature can give us that much needed break, and help to heal our concentration.
• Helps to relax you – Having a break from focusing on the day to day worries and stresses helps you to find some moments of peace, relaxing you and making everything feel just that much more manageable.

At Wathall’s we’ve sponsored two areas of reflection in areas of peace and beauty, so that our families and others can enjoy a quiet moment in the healing outdoors. Heritage Wood at Ednaston can be found be found at the postcode DE6 3AE, and Poppy Wood  at Melbourne can be found at the postcode DE73 7GE.

The post The benefits of being outside appeared first on Wathalls.

Monday

I am currently in charge of the Alvaston branch whilst Emma Bunn is on maternity leave.  Although it is quite different to my usual office base in Macklin Street, I am thoroughly enjoying it. I used to work in the NHS as a health care assistant and then in administration until I joined the funeral services profession and I then joined Wathall’s in 2022. It is a very rewarding job and there is no better feeling when a family tells you how much you have helped make a horrible time in their lives more bearable.

I make the first call to families whose loved ones have passed away overnight to see which branch is more convenient for them and send them information to help them with the first steps in arranging a funeral. Our Next Steps brochure is really helpful to guide the family on the decisions that need to be made.  The last thing you want to do is pepper someone with questions so it is much easier for the family if they know what to expect.

The rest of the morning is spent updating the ‘to do’ list and planning out the week – although this is a very busy area and there is always someone popping in with an enquiry so flexibility is the key.

In the afternoon, a family comes in for a first appointment to arrange the funeral for a loved one.  We are so central in Derby that it is easier for the extended family in particular to meet here and we ensure that all elements for the cremation service are put in place.

Tuesday

Yesterday’s family want to include a notice in the Derby Telegraph which I sort for them.  Even though this is still popular, more and more families are content to use our ‘Much Loved’ service which is free and is where they can upload photographs, virtual candles and organise charity donations in lieu of flowers.  We can even include a QR code to the site on the orders of service for donations on the day of the funeral service.

Once I have confirmed the date at the crematorium, I then contact the celebrant that I think would best suit the family and their loved one and put them in touch with the family.

The style of funerals has definitely changed over the years.  Recently I had a family who conducted the whole cremation service themselves and even made their own video to pay tribute to their loved one.  The most important thing is that the family wishes come first.

Wednesday

I have another appointment with the family we have supported for three generations. Their father had a funeral plan with us and also updated his funeral wishes information a couple of years ago when his health was starting to deteriorate so everybody knows what he wants and are thankful for that.

He wanted a direct cremation which is becoming increasingly popular so we discuss this and allay any concerns.  Unlike many of the national firms, we ensure that local people are cremated locally and depending on the direct cremation package the family has chosen, we also give the family the chance to visit their loved one in the chapel of rest beforehand.  The family then talk together about the celebration party that they want when they have the ashes returned.  This will enable them to give their father the send off he deserves and help family and friends say goodbye and come to terms with their loss.

A couple of the next generation of the family also make appointments whilst they are here with me to set up funeral plans for themselves – recognising how much easier it is for a family when they know their loved ones’ wishes and taking away any financial burden from their own children.

Thursday

We have an Art Stone Memorials showroom here so my colleague from Stapenhill comes over to meet several families about memorials from headstones to kerb sets.

I know some of these families well having arranged the funerals so it is a chance to check in on them, remind them of our bereavement support services and see if there is anything else we can do to support them on their grief journey.

In between answering the door to families, I concentrate on updating my work list and I also have a video meeting with my colleague Anita Fenton who is the manager of our Borrowash branch to finalise the details for our involvement in a Christmas tree festival that is located in a church between our two branches.

Friday

We have two funerals booked for Monday and today I receive the deceased at the branch.  One of the families want to visit their grandmother and also place some personal items in the coffin. I prepare the Chapel of Rest for them, have a final chat about the arrangements for the funeral and leave them in peace to say their goodbyes.

After making my final calls and doing all the checks that need to be made ahead of the funerals, I head home. It’s a busy weekend of football for my beloved DCFC as well as my husband’s team (Nottingham Forest) who are both playing.  This has always be a slight bone of contention in our house but we keep it to friendly banter – most of the time!

The post A Week in the Life of Karen Knighton appeared first on Wathalls.

The ‘Wathall’s Way’ is at the heart of everything we do: whether that is helping people take out pre-payment funeral plans; arranging a funeral; creating a lasting memorial or supporting families through bereavement.

It is the ethos behind how we work, treat each other and the families we serve and how we support our local communities.

These guiding principles have been embedded in our culture over the generations and have seen us through the challenges brought by numerous economic depressions, two world wars and ever-changing societal behaviours.

Despite all the changes since Wathall’s started in 1858, our number one focus is to support each other, the families who need us and our local communities – guided by our values:

• Respect for all – The way we treat each other, and the way we treat those we serve, always with respect for others
• Strive for excellence, everyday – Great isn’t good enough, strive for excellence in everything we do
• Act with integrity – Our commitment to work transparently, honestly, and doing what is best for the families and each other, taking responsibility for our actions
• Commitment to our community and surroundings – We commit to caring for and supporting our community and surroundings in whatever way we can
• Accessible support – Everyone deserves compassion and has the right to access support, we do not discriminate, and all are welcome

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The Grief Journey programme is part of Wathall’s Dandelions Bereavement Support service which also includes support groups in Derby and Ashbourne, 1-2-1 counselling and bespoke training programmes for businesses and organisations.

The daytime Dandelions Grief Journey Programme will be held at St Peter’s Church in the city centre on four consecutive Monday afternoons (2pm to 4pm) in March, June and November. 

Evening programmes (between 6pm and 8pm) will be held at Derby Rugby Club in Haslam’s Lane in February, May and October.

The Grief Journey Programme is run by specially-trained Wathall’s staff and has been designed to equip people with the tools, knowledge and a fresh mind-set to come to terms with their grief and help them work towards their future.

Helen Wathall MBE is the fifth generation of her family to head up Wathall’s.  She said: “Grief is an individual experience and each person’s emotions and feelings are unique and personal.

“People join us at various times after bereavement – whenever they feel that they need support.

 “It is not formal counselling but the opportunity to be part of a group that explores the grief process and emotional pathway to help bereaved people cope with adjustments to life as it is now and the ‘new normal’.

 “The sessions are very informal and people are welcome to bring along a friend for extra support.”

Pre-booking is essential for the free programme with further information available here https://www.wathalls.co.uk/bereavement-support/grief-journey-programme/ or contact bereavement support coordinator Fay Bloor, Tel: 01332 345268 or email fay.bloor@wathall.co.uk

The post Special Programme Supports Bereaved On Their Grief Journey appeared first on Wathalls.

The team here at Wathall’s has organised the memorial service since 2008 – inviting families who have lost loved ones during this and previous years.

We were joined by members of Dandelions Bereavement Support groups in Derby and Ashbourne as well as representatives from local churches, charities, hospitals and nursing homes.

The early evening inter-faith service included Christmas carols, readings and finished with the moving poem by a 13-year-old boy ‘My First Christmas in Heaven’.

Staff from Wathall’s branches then served refreshments and families were invited to light a candle and hang a message of remembrance on a memory Christmas tree.

Managing Director Helen Wathall MBE is the fifth generation of her family to run the company.

She explained: “Christmas can be an especially difficult time of year when the ‘empty chair’ at the table is particularly poignant – regardless of how far people are in their grief journey.

“The Celebration of Remembrance and Hope is therefore a welcome opportunity for people of all faiths, or no faith, to remember loved ones and draw on the calm positivity that runs through this service.”

For information about help available through Wathall’s Dandelions Bereavement Support service, please visit https://www.wathalls.co.uk/bereavement-support/

The post Memorial Service Gives Families Time to Remember Loved Ones appeared first on Wathalls.

Monday

I am in the Derby branch today at Macklin Street but, looking at the diary, I will be working at various branches this week so it is certainly going to be a varied one for me. My job is very wide ranging which I love, and that probably sums up my working life so far. Having worked in a children’s nursery, then a secondary school supporting students who were deaf, I joined Wathall’s nine years ago. I started my job being based in Derby as receptionist and answering the phones but this has evolved over the years.  Having said that, Monday is always a very full day and the majority of it is spent answering the phone and either liaising with colleagues or handling enquiries myself.

Tuesday

I am back in Derby first thing to receive the cremated remains which are delivered from the crematorium.  When the ashes are delivered, I log them all onto our database and let the arrangers know they have arrived, so that they can contact the families and arrange collection.  Receiving the ashes is a very important part of the grief journey for families so it is imperative that it is handled correctly. Mid-morning I head over to our Allestree branch to cover for branch manager, Amanda Howitt. Now that everybody is working on the same system – it is quite a simple process to look after a branch if the manager is on annual leave or spending a day out of the office visiting families. After closing up the branch, I then head off to Derby Rugby Club with my colleague Fay Bloor, to run the evening Dandelions Bereavement Support Group. This is in addition to the two daytime groups which meet monthly in Ashbourne and twice monthly at St Peter’s Church in Derby city centre.

Wednesday

I am at the Borrowash branch today and, after the hearse arrives to pick up a coffin first thing, the diary is pretty clear so I get on with some of other jobs.  I collate the feedback forms which are, 9 times out of 10 – very positive, but there are occasionally some that have constructive feedback which is just as useful.  I check who has been involved in that particular funeral and share with colleagues as it is important for everyone to see what the family has said.  In the afternoon, I meet up again with Fay, this time to help deliver the Grief Journey session.  I particularly enjoy this part of my job, supporting people who have suffered a bereavement to develop the tools, knowledge and a fresh mindset to come to terms with grief and work towards their future. People are often signposted to us by their GP or other health professionals and we aim to have a maximum of six people so that everybody has the chance to talk things through. It is particularly rewarding when someone opens up about their feelings for the first time, I finish the session with a mindfulness exercise to ensure everyone leaves calm and relaxed. 

Thursday

Today I have been asked to visit the Alvaston branch to support the manager there who has a meeting with the daughter of a lady who has passed away.  The daughter is hearing impaired and as I am British Sign Language (BSL) trained – I am there to ensure that communication is free flowing and that her wishes are fully met.  Since I am already at the branch, I stay there for the rest of the day following up on some appointments and handling enquiries that come through.

Friday

Today I am back at the Derby branch, which is a hive of activity as everyone is trying to get as much done as possible before the end of the week. I spend a lot of Friday answering the phones, which means often I am the first point of contact with families. I take the initial enquiries and start to get the arrangement process rolling for them.  The day flies by and I leave the office looking forward to a long walk with my husband Frank – who is based at our Ashbourne branch – and our two Beagles followed by lunch at our favourite country pub.  Sunday will then be busy with the grandchildren coming over for the day and a family lunch.

The post A Week in the Life of Lynne Rigby appeared first on Wathalls.

Sue North (68) worked at St Andrew’s Academy in Oakwood for more than 25 years before she retired and was also a loving wife mother, nan and great-nan with a close-knit family living in and around Chaddesden.

When she died suddenly, her husband Ken and daughters Lisa and Donna were determined to do something special in her memory that would reflect her caring and nurturing nature.

Instead of flowers, mourners at Mrs Susan North’s funeral service were asked to make donations which have been used to buy 37 copies of a children’s bereavement activity book ‘Missing Someone Special – working your way through loss.’

The book was written by Fay Bloor who is a trained counsellor and bereavement coordinator at Wathall’s funeral directors who made the arrangements for the North family.  The illustrations for the book were created by University of Derby graduate, Michael Ashley featuring woodland creature characters.

The book has been published as part of Wathall’s Dandelions Bereavement Support service and gently explains practical things such as what happens at both burial and cremation services as well as highlighting the importance of sharing emotions following a bereavement.

There is also space for children to write down their happy memories of the loved one they have lost and express their feelings through words and pictures.

The books will now be given to families with children who are struggling with bereavement and, in turn, Wathall’s has donated a proportion of the book price to Treetops Hospice children’s bereavement service.

Sue’s husband Ken explained: “Sue had a special way with children – whether that was her own family or the children at St Andrew’s who she worked with.  She was also a real nature lover and the illustrations in the book of animals, trees and flowers really resonated with me.

“We have therefore bought copies of the books for Wathall’s to give to families they feel in most need.

“We feel that this is a perfect tribute to Sue who is so sorely missed by everyone she knew and loved.  She had time for everyone and was constantly being stopped for a hug by former pupils at St Andrew’s and their families who she supported.

“Our children, grandchildren and now great grandchildren were her world and all miss her dreadfully but we hope that the donation of these books will help other families who face the same grief as we all do.”

Wathall’s Fay Bloor added: “This is a lovely tribute to Sue who, by all accounts, was a wonderfully kind, loving and caring person.

“I wrote the children’s bereavement activity book during Covid. Adults often feel like they must protect children from the harsh reality of death and are obviously mourning a loss themselves.  However, avoiding the discussions can cause confusion and anxiety for the child.

“The reality is that children are extremely resilient and can deal with the truth, if it is explained to them carefully in an age-appropriate way.

“The activity book is therefore designed to gently explain what has happened and the kind of words and phrases that they have perhaps heard people discussing.

“It also highlights the range of emotions that they may be feeling, from anger to guilt, and encourages them to express these in the book which families can then use as a starting point for reassurance and support.”

For more information about how to apply for one of the bereavement support books and about the Dandelions Bereavement Support Service, please email fay.bloor@wathalls.co.uk

The post Husband and Daughters Make Fitting Tribute to Loving Wife, Mother, Nan and Great-Nan appeared first on Wathalls.

There’s a sense of finality around New Year’s Eve that can be difficult when you are grieving, whether this 31st December marks the start of your first year without them, or whether it marks another year since you last saw them, it can be tough. Please remember to make time to look after yourself and practice self-care during this time.

Bereavement counsellor Fay Bloor recently wrote this blog which we hope will help you or someone you love feel less alone.

https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/new-years-eve-grief

Wishing everyone a peaceful New Year, from all at Wathall’s.

The post New Year’s Eve Grief appeared first on Wathalls.

I realise that for many of you, this past year has brought an unexpected twist in your life journey. I am always very conscious that when someone you care about dies, your world changes. For you, the world looks and feels different and with it this Christmas. For everyone else, it is the season to be jolly; it’s the most wonderful time of the year. But understandably, you probably don’t feel the same about your world this festive season.

So, this year, I would like to give you three gifts for a grieving Christmas. My first gift is for you. Maybe you are facing this Christmas season with dread. Here are a few suggestions:

• Recognise this Christmas is different.
• Plan ahead. Decide what you want to do. Act rather than react.
• Re-examine your priorities.
• Avoid “should do’s” and “ought to’s”
• Make the changes that you think are best.
• Take responsibility for your own happiness.
• Look after yourself. Don’t abandon healthy habits.
• Be compassionate with yourself if things are not perfect this year.

The next gift focuses on your loved one. They may be gone, but I am sure they will be very much on your mind:

• Acknowledge your loved one’s presence.
• Create a special tribute to your loved one. Involve children in this if you can.
• Light a memorial candle to remember them at this season.
• Be honest about your feelings and be sensitive to what they are trying to say.
• Don’t be afraid to relive your memories.  After all, it’s those loving memories that help us to keep them alive in our hearts.
• Let the light of the Christmas’s past shine on the event, rather than letting the event cast its shadow of this Christmas.

My final gift has to do with others around you like family and friends, who are probably grieving too:

• Balance solitude and sociability.
• Ask for AND accept help.
• Set differences aside
• Learn to say ‘No’
• Take a break from things.
• Try to find something positive in your life.
• Take care of any children that may be involved.
• Try to do something to help someone else who is hurting.
• Remember, there will be other Christmas’s, even though that may not help THIS one.

Finally, we need to face the future with hope. There’s a little verse in the Christmas story of the Wise Men that often goes unnoticed. After finding the baby in Bethlehem, they returned home “by a different route.’ They had to find a different road forward than the way they had come. When you have experienced bereavement, you suddenly find life has taken on a whole new direction.  We find ourselves and our lives, having to go on in a whole new direction. Sometimes in life, we have to find new ways to get to where we need to be.

Perhaps you face this Christmas with some apprehension and, this year, you feel like the light has gone out of your life. Nothing seems quite right and you wonder if you have the strength to go on.  But my friends, no matter how dark your situation, remember one thing: there is not enough darkness in the whole universe to hide the light of even one candle. Even when there is a flicker of hope, that spark overcomes the gloom. It may not banish it completely, but it is never all dark as long as there remains one glimmer of hope. Hope means “the expectation that good is yet to come.”

So light a candle in memory of your loved one, but also for yourself … to indicate that you believe there is hope for you to find your way through the darkness, even though life has taken an unwelcome turn and you are heading home in a different direction than the one you expected or even wanted.

So, this Christmas season:

• Celebrate the person’s life as well as acknowledging their death.
• Don’t allow looking back at the past to spoil what you have in the present.
• Enjoy what you have, as well as grieving what you have lost.
• Believe there are reasons to go on, even though you may not see what they are right now.
• Believe in people and in life, in love and laughter and in hope!
• Believe in yourself, that your determination will help get you through.
• Believe that no matter how difficult your circumstances that life is important and can still be meaningful.
• Believe in a brighter tomorrow and in possibilities beyond even your bravest dreams.

After Christmas, a New Year.  But what does it hold for you?

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. I just don’t have the willpower. Besides, the moment you ‘blow it’ (which is usually by January 2), you give up on your resolutions and slip back into more of the ‘same old, same old’ I prefer to set goals. Things I want to accomplish in the coming year. Goals are something you can keep working towards.

For you, maybe this past year has brought many changes. Sometimes after a loss, the way we see everything in our world changes. At times we may even regard ourselves differently. But we have to be careful.

The real problem is not the circumstances, but how we view these situations. Sometimes we need to check the glasses through which we look at our world. Are the “spectacles” through which you filter your view of things giving you an accurate picture? What’s your vision for next year; the goals you want to reach; the accomplishments you want to fulfil; the places you want to go?

But you may ask, how do I set goals for this new year in light of what has happened? Let’s see if we can make it easier.

One of Stephen Covey’s ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ is: begin with the goal in mind. Imagine where you want yourself to be one year from now in the various aspects and compartments of your life and then work back setting manageable objectives that will enable you to reach your desired goals.  Remember, I said ‘manageable’ 

Write these intentions down on paper. What would next year have to look like to make it ‘better’ for you?

What would you like your life to look like a year from now? What personal goals and ambitions would you like to reach?

What would you have to do to bring about that happy outcome? How about family? What would bring the people closer and make the next festive season one of thanksgiving?

Only you can determine the things you write down on that paper. But when you have done it, you have a vision. You have established goals and now you must set objectives by which, step by step, day by day throughout next year, you can build towards making that vision a reality.

I find my own goals are getting more personal and I like to think, more focused on what is really important in life.

My goal is to listen more.

My goal is to offer more random acts of kindness. More notes left on the counter for my wife, or frequent words of appreciation to people like checkout counter staff, or (and I mean no disrespect) the ‘little people’ in life who far too often are neglected, mistreated or unappreciated. It makes their day … and it also makes mine.

My goal is to laugh more. Let’s send more email cartoons, clever articles or jokes to each other. We all need a good laugh now and then.

I would like to take more chances and not play it ‘safe.’ I also want to travel lighter in life.

‘Someday’ and ‘one of these days’ are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it’s worth seeing, hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. Why wait, when it may never happen if you do.

My goal is to show a cheerful disposition. Try to lift people’s spirits, or surround yourself with people who have a knack of doing that for you.

Whenever possible, make life a pattern of experiences to savour, not to endure.

Even though at my age I have more time to look back on than to look forward to in my life, I’m going to try to live next year as if it were my last, while doing everything I can to ensure that it isn’t. For people who take that attitude, the best is always yet to come.

As Peter Drucker puts it: “The best way to predict the future is to create it” So, believe in yourself and try to stay positive and if you do, you will have a better New Year. 

You can find more information and guidance on Grief and Bereavement by Dr Bill Webster at his helpful and informative website at: www.GriefJourney.com

The post A Meaningful Christmas appeared first on Wathalls.

Sending sympathy cards is a simple and thoughtful way of us sharing a few kind words to those that need them the most. It’s something we can do in a situation wildly outside of our control. Here are some of our tips on how to approach writing a sympathy card.

• Avoid using clichés, instead write from the heart. If you don’t know what to say, be honest and say that – you’ve still reached out and shown that you care. Quoting clichés can sound less genuine and some, like “time heals”, can be more infuriating than helpful.
• Avoid any sentence that contains the phrase ‘at least’. Whilst it’s often said to help the person see the good that remains, it tends to feel like their pain is being invalidated and often causes people to feel lonelier or even angry instead.
• Be specific about the help you are willing to offer. None of us like asking for help, but it’s a lot easier when someone’s offered to help with specific aspects such as cooking, childcare, a shoulder to cry on etc. Similarly, please don’t offer help if you know you don’t have the capacity in your life at the moment to follow through with it.
• Don’t assume you know exactly how they feel, even if you’ve had a similar loss. Grief is as unique as each of us, so whilst we can have a good idea of what someone might be feeling, assuming that you know exactly often isn’t helpful.
• Feel free to share a fond memory of the person that has died, but be aware it might be too much for the bereaved to read straight away. It’s still a great gift as it shows them that their loved one is remembered, and that other people will miss them too. It’s just that even the happiest memories can feel bittersweet when that person is no longer with us.
• If in doubt, draft your message out first on a scrap piece of paper, often wording can feel different in our head to when it’s written on paper.

If you have any questions, or for further support, please visit our website by clicking here or email fay.bloor@wathalls.co.uk.

The post Tips for Writing Sympathy Cards appeared first on Wathalls.

Wathall’s, which is Derby’s longest established independent funeral directors, organises the memorial service every year – inviting families who have lost loved ones during this and past years.

They will be joined by members of Dandelions Bereavement Support groups in Derby and Ashbourne as well as representatives from local churches, hospitals and nursing homes.

The early evening inter-faith service will include Christmas carols, readings and will finish with the moving poem by a 13-year-old boy ‘My First Christmas in Heaven’.

Staff from Wathall’s branches in Derby city centre, Allestree, Alvaston, Ashbourne, Burton, Borrowash and Chaddesden will then serve refreshments and families are invited to light a candle and hang a message of remembrance on a memory Christmas tree.

Managing Director Helen Wathall MBE is the fifth generation of her family to run the company.

She explained: “The memorial service is an opportunity to remember their loved ones at what is an especially difficult time of year.

 “We organised the first service in 2008 and it has grown every year with some people returning every December to remember a family member – joined by those who have been more recently bereaved.

 “Every year we support a charity at the service and this year’s donations will be go towards Marie Curie, the UK’s leading end of life charity who provide incredible care and support for so many of our families.”

For more information about the service please email info@wathalls.co.uk

The post Annual Service Gives Families Time to Remember Loved Ones appeared first on Wathalls.

Are you looking for a change and still want to feel rewarded in your career? Are you caring, compassionate, honest, and respectful?  Do you want to make a difference and help families at their time of need? If so, we could be what you are looking for.

At Wathall’s, we believe in the importance of providing exceptional care and support to families during their time of need. If you share our commitment to professionalism and compassion, we welcome you to join our team and contribute to our mission.

Funeral Conductor/Bearer

Location: Derby – City Centre

Overview

Wathall’s is an independent, family-owned Funeral Directors with seven branches covering Derby, Burton, and Ashbourne.  Our amazing team proudly celebrates 165 years of caring for our families with the compassion, dignity, and respect that they deserve. We are dedicated to offering professional and caring funeral services to assist families through their most challenging times.

The Role

We have an opportunity for a caring, empathetic, professional, and well-presented person to join our team as a Conductor/Bearer.  You will be working primarily as a Funeral Conductor and bearer, reporting directly to the Funeral Team Manager.  With at least two years’ experience within the Funeral Industry and ideally as a conductor, you will work within our funeral team to provide an exceptional standard of service to the families that we care for.  Attending addresses when bringing loved ones into our care, you will often be the first to meet our families.  From then, working behind the scenes, you will be involved in the process within the mortuary environment, coffin preparation area, garage, and vehicle cleaning, through to the funeral service where you will care for and guide the family. 

Key Responsibilities

• On funerals, safely and respectfully transporting the deceased and their families to and from various locations, including the funeral home, church, cemetery, and crematorium.
• Working within the Mortuary environment in a respectful and dignified manner.

• Furnishing, lining, and preparing coffins within the workshop area.
• Ensuring that funeral vehicles are maintained, clean, and presentable at all times.
• Collaborating with the other team members to ensure that funeral services run smoothly.
• Providing support and compassion to grieving families during the Funeral Service.
• To work on the on-call rota system which involves night and weekend work (minimum 2 nights per week) bringing deceased into our care.

Experience and Requirements:

• Two years’ experience within the Funeral industry (preferably as a Conductor) is preferred but not essential as training will be given.
• Empathetic, compassionate, resilient, and able to work with initiative and under pressure.
• Well presented with excellent time keeping skills.
• Attention to detail and the ability to maintain professionalism during emotionally charged situations.
• Excellent communication and teamwork skills.
• A full, clean driving licence is required.
• Due to the nature of the role, heavy lifting is necessary and good levels of physical fitness would be required.
• Living locally would be an advantage due to working on the out of hours on call rota.

Location and working hours

You would be based at our Head Office in Derby City Centre. The working hours are Monday to Friday 8.30am – 5.00pm.  You would be required to be included on the out of hours on call rota at least two nights per week, which includes some weekends.

Benefits:

• Highly competitive salary (dependant on experience) of between £29,000 – £32,000 per annum including on call rate, plus call out and some overtime earnings.
• 25 days Annual Leave plus Bank Holidays.
• Full uniform provided
• Fully inclusive mobile phone.
• Health Cash Plan (upon completion of probation period)
• Death in service scheme (upon completion of probation period)
• Opportunities for professional development and growth within the company.
• Company pension

How to Apply: If you would like to apply, please send your CV and a covering letter to info@wathalls.co.uk

Application Deadline: Sunday November 12^th 2023

The post We Are Hiring appeared first on Wathalls.

I have a full day of counselling clients today who I see in the special room that has been created in one of our newest branches, Allestree. It is a lovely, calm space which is ideal for clients to relax and open up about their feelings.

The counselling service is part of the expansion of our Dandelions Bereavement Support Service which was set up by our MD Helen Wathall. Having started at Wathall’s on work experience as a teenager, I was offered a job to train as a funeral arranger and, as part of my progression I helped out at the Grief Journey and Dandelions Support Group sessions.  I was also given the opportunity to start training in counselling and hypnotherapy.

My clients’ circumstances are totally unique.  Some are recently bereaved and others are still struggling to come to terms with their loss after several years. Whilst grief is the main focus of the sessions, often past life experience impacts how and why people react in various ways, so you never really know what is going to come up in a session and certainly no two days are the same.

Tuesday

I do not have any appointments today, so I shut myself away for a writing and admin day.

I regularly write blogs covering various elements of grief, and many are inspired by snippets of conversations with counselling clients and group members.  I have recently written a blog about coming to terms with medical termination of a pregnancy, and this was published on the Counselling Directory website. Today I want to delve deeper into anxiety as part of grief, which is an interesting subject that seems to come up a lot in both the counselling and group sessions.

I’ve really enjoyed getting into writing over the last few years, starting with me writing my first of two grief activity books back in 2020. The two books, one aimed at adults and the other at children, aim to help people work through their emotions and move forward in light of their loss. I’m currently in the earliest stages of drafting my third grief activity book, so watch this space!

I then head off to Derby Rugby Club with my colleague Lynne, to run the evening Dandelions Bereavement Support Group. This is in addition to the two daytime groups which meet monthly in Ashbourne and twice monthly at St Peter’s Church in Derby city centre.

Wednesday

I have set up an Etsy shop from which to sell my workbooks and the sympathy cards I designed a little while ago. So, having received some email orders overnight, I start the day by packaging these up and sending them out.

I’ve also set up a Facebook and Instagram account (@FayBloorBooks) to help raise awareness around my books, as well as being a place to share articles I’ve written, news about my next projects and grief quotes I like. It’s quite important to post at least semi-frequently, so I spend some time this morning creating a ‘reel’ on breaking bad news to children, in the hope that someone somewhere may find it useful. It’s definitely a bit of a learning curve managing social media pages, but I’ve had fun learning how to do certain aspects of it and finding new content to post.

In 2020 we commissioned the Hug After Loss giftboxes which are distributed through a local company, so I drop them a quarterly email to them to see how sales are going.  These are a great alternative for people to send flowers to friends and family and they also include our Dandelions grief journal which is a great outlet for the tricky feelings of grief.

On that note, I spend the afternoon at St Peter’s Church delivering the Grief Journey session which is designed to equip those who have suffered a bereavement with the tools, knowledge and a fresh mindset to come to terms with grief and work towards their future. The four-week programme is free of charge and runs six times a year. We meet once a week for a two-hour session that covers how grief affects people, confronting emotions and loneliness.

After a heavy but constructive session, I head off to an aerial hoop class which I love.  When you are suspended in the air holding onto a hoop for dear life, you don’t think about anything else, the only downside is the multiple bruises that develop the next day!

Thursday

After a counselling client first thing, I spend the rest of the morning catching up with some admin work.  This includes booking the next trip for our Dandelions members. We recently visited Tatton Park which was fabulous, the next trip will be to Chatsworth at Christmas – always a popular trip as it’s something to look forward to in what is often a difficult month for those that are grieving.

In the afternoon I log on to a webinar that I’m delivering for a large solicitor’s firm, who are keen for their Wills & Probate and Family Law teams to have a greater understanding about grief and bereavement, so that they can better support their clients. Presenting online is certainly out of my comfort zone, I would much rather do this in person, though it’s good to do new things and it means we can reach more people and spread awareness wider. Thankfully it goes well, and I get some positive and constructive feedback which I can use for future training sessions.

Friday

I am in the Derby head office today in Macklin Street and, after a meeting about our social media presence, I’m asked by a colleague who is struggling with some personal issues to sit down for a chat.  I’m one of Wathall’s three Mental Health First Aiders – a great idea in any workplace, I’d fully recommend the course.  I listen to the issues that my colleague is facing, and we talk about their options. Sometimes people just need to be listened to, sometimes they need guiding to find the most appropriate help. As it turned out, one of the groups provided by Derby County Community Trust (of which we are a partner) seemed to fit his needs well, so I passed on the details for him to look into further.

I finish work a little earlier today, having worked through a lunch hour earlier in the week, so it’s time for some last-minute packing (is there any other kind?) for one of many weekends in Whitby, my favourite place to visit without getting on a plane.

The post A Week in the Life of Bereavement Support Coordinator and Counsellor – Fay Bloor appeared first on Wathalls.

I am in the workshop today as I split my time between various roles.  I started in the coffin workshop six years ago and, with a background of working with cars, also maintained the funeral cars.  I have also worked in the mortuary where the role includes measuring the person and then ordering the bespoke coffin from our supplier, Walwyns, which is in Ashbourne and is also a family-owned company.

My job today is to prepare the coffins for the funerals this week. There are so many coffins to choose from and we have a good variety that the families have chosen from wicker to the more ornate wooden coffins.  My role includes engraving and fitting the name plates and fitting the the linings, gowns and wadding.  I am a very practical person so I like this part of the job.

I finish the day by contacting the family whose funeral I am conducting tomorrow to ensure they know all the arrangements and timings and that none of the plans their end have changed.

Tuesday

I make the final checks for the funeral this lunchtime – ensuring I have the hymn sheets, orders of service, donation boxes and name cards and, with my manager Mark, we do the final triple check to ensure everything is correct.

I sit in the passenger seat of the hearse and we head over with the funeral car to pick up the family members.  Having double checked that everything is OK with them, we make the slow journey to the crematorium. This is not just a sign of respect, it is tradition that the deceased is not rushed on their final journey.

When we arrive at the crematorium entrance, I walk in front of the hearse and, as it is raining, I suggest to the family that they stay in the car while I go inside to meet up with the celebrant and make sure everything in the chapel is ready for them.

We walk into the chapel and, as soon as the family are seated, I step to one side so that I can keep an eye on proceedings without being noticed.  It is the ‘Wathall’s Way’ to be in the background rather than carrying canes and taking centre stage.  This is all about the family – not us – and it is our job to ensure that everything goes in accordance with the family’s wishes.

After the service, we wait until the family is ready to be taken to the wake.  I also check with the family whether they want to take the flowers with them or leave them at the crematorium.

Wednesday

I am on call in the workshop today – ready to collect a person’s body from their home, care home or hospital.  I was also on call last night and it is very rare that we don’t get any calls. 

Before I came to Wathall’s I had not really thought about the different scenarios that I would face.  As well as visiting the home of people who have passed away peacefully in bed, we are called to fatal road traffic accidents or someone who has not been seen for sometime and the police have had to break into a property.  It is important to stay calm and be prepared for every eventuality and my training in the Army straight from school does hold me in good stead.

Thursday

I am conducting another funeral today which is a job that I find very rewarding as it is the last thing you can do for someone and it is important to fully support a family at a difficult time.

Today’s funeral is a burial which adds an additional element to the proceedings as, after the church service, the pall bearers reassemble and we make our way to the graveyard.  We lower the coffin into the ground and I stay close to the family to ensure they have the time to say their final goodbyes before we take them to the wake.

The first funeral I conducted was for my own nan three years ago.  I asked if I could conduct the funeral and borrowed a colleague’s uniform.  Nearly a year later, I became a fully fledged conductor.  The best training is on the job but I think that I am well suited to it as I am a very logical and process driven person.  You also need to be a problem solver.  Recently, the minister fainted during the service and, although he thankfully recovered and was able to carry on, behind the scenes I was working to see if there were other celebrants or ministers nearby who could take over should the need arise.

Friday

After the usual morning meeting to review the week and plan what is coming up next week, I am called on to some minor maintenance work on one of the funeral cars and then spend the rest of the day in the workshop.

I particularly enjoy the engraving as I do this and 3D modelling at home as a hobby and a part time business in the evenings and at weekends.

Having been on call a couple of nights this week, I have the rest of the day off and head straight into the garage to check over my mountain bike and motor bike as I plan to get out and about in the Derbyshire countryside this weekend and let off some steam as I am never one for standing still!

The post A week in the life of Funeral Conductor Scott Adams appeared first on Wathalls.

With branches in Derby city centre, Allestree, Alvaston, Ashbourne, Borrowash, Chaddesden and Burton-on-Trent, we remain a Rams Preferred Partner – enabling families to have special access to Pride Park Stadium following the unique and personal funeral of their loved one.

Options include the chance to place a commemorative brick and ashes around the stadium perimeter; using the club logo and colours for service sheets, flower arrangements, coffins and urns.

All are available either as part of a funeral pre-payment plan for someone who is in the process of planning their own funeral or for the bereaved family.

Here at Wathall’s we also support the club’s ‘Rams Remember’ programme when the club offers supporters the opportunity to submit the details of their loved ones whose names can then appear on the LED advertising boards surrounding the pitch at selected games.

Managing director Helen Wathall MBE is a lifelong Rams fan and the fifth generation to run Wathall’s which has been serving local communities since 1858.

She explained: “As Derby’s longest established funeral directors, we are proud to not only support the Rams but also to provide special features for families who entrust us with planning their loved one’s funeral.

“The memorial bricks, including the opportunity to place cremated ashes underneath, are particularly popular with families.

“Our specialist stonemasons at Art Stone Memorials, create the bricks especially for each person. 

“The bricks create a lasting memorial at Pride Park Stadium and many families gather at the spot to share memories and celebrate their loved one’s life, particularly before and after the special ‘Rams Remember’ matches.”

The post Wathall’s Re-Signs with the Rams appeared first on Wathalls.

I start every day with a meeting with all the Funeral Team to go through the day and confirm everyone’s work schedules.  We have a varied job from conducting funeral services to collecting the bodies of people who have passed away and we need to be flexible to whatever calls we get.

We have a busy week of funerals ahead so I do a full checklist for the funerals planned for the next couple of days.  Nothing is left to chance and we have a thorough triple check system to ensure everything is ready and all the finer details are correct. I am fortunate that we have probably more full time members of staff than most other funeral directors but I also have a team of casual or part time funeral bearers that we call upon when needed so I put in some calls.

Tuesday

Part of our role is the removal of bodies – whether from a person’s home, their care home or, as in this case, from Ward 2 at the London Road Community Hospital.  I send one of the team up to the hospital to collect the person’s body and, with all the paperwork in place, I call the family to let them know that we are looking after their loved one until they decide who they want to arrange the funeral.

We also work with the bereavement team at hospital to arrange the funeral for babies who unfortunately die in hospital.  Every baby has a funeral whether they are full term or not which we all agree is one of the hardest jobs that we do – regardless of whether it is a cremation or burial.

I then spend the afternoon in the mortuary where I am needed to help prepare a person’s body who will then be taken to the Chapel of Rest at our Allestree branch tomorrow so that the family can say a private farewell to their loved one.

Wednesday

It is 15 years since I left my job in construction and started working as a driver and pall bearer here at Wathall’s. Having done all the jobs in the yard (as we call it) – washing the cars, preparing the coffins and working in the mortuary – I progressed onto being a funeral conductor .  As manager, it is important that I can step into any role at busy times and I love the variety in the job.

I am donning my uniform today and conducting a funeral which is an aspect of the job that I particularly enjoy.  Conducting a funeral is the last thing you can do for a person and I like to do this job at least once a week to see for myself that the ‘Wathall’s Way’ is being adhered to at all times and that standards are maintained.

Thursday

It’s a particularly heavy paperwork day today as next week is looking as busy as this one.  My job is essentially to make sure that every funeral runs smoothly and to never take anything for granted.

I work with the funeral arrangers to ensure that everything is ready for a funeral from ordering the coffins to contacting the families the day before a funeral to introduce ourselves and finalising the arrangements with the crematorium or church.

This is definitely not a nine to five profession so I also confirm the on-call rotas as we need to be available 24/7 to collect a person’s body and bring them here to the mortuary in Derby.

Friday

After such a busy week, it is important to ensure that everything is ship shape in the yard and that all the cars are in full working order and ready for the following week.

We also take delivery of coffins which are made bespoke to each person’s measurements so it is important that these are properly logged.

I am not on call this weekend so am looking forward to a weekend of football – watching my beloved Derby County on Saturday and then running my son’s junior football team Ashby Ivanhoe on Sunday.  Wathall’s sponsor the kit for the lads and it is always a proud moment when they head onto the team in their smart shirts sporting our name.

The post A Week in the Life of Mark Reed, Wathall’s Funeral Team Manager appeared first on Wathalls.

Monday

As always, I am up at 5.30am to take our two beagles for their morning constitutional before returning home to get ready for work.  I can honestly say that I have never dreaded going to work throughout my 42 years with Wathalls and I particularly love the journey into Ashbourne since I have been branch manager here as the beautiful scenery along the country roads always puts a smile on my face.

I spend the morning catching up on any outstanding matters with the funerals that I am personally arranging or those that I will be conducting during the coming week.

I then take a call from a local family who have sadly lost their elderly relative and take as much information as I can before arranging to go to their home the following evening to take the full instructions.  The majority of the Ashbourne funerals are at churches and church graveyards and this is no exception so I contact the vicar immediately to check on availability so that a date can be confirmed and all the arrangements can be finalised at the meeting with the family.

Tuesday

I am conducting a funeral this morning for an Ashbourne family so I get in bright and early to be ready for the day.  I contacted the family yesterday to check they were alright and to run through the details of the cremation service at Markeaton.  The florist delivers the flowers and then my colleagues arrive with the hearse and two limousines.  We drive over to the house to collect the family and make our way to Markeaton Crematorium.  The sons and grandsons are the pall bearers so I ensure they are comfortable holding the coffin. One of the many tips that Bill taught me was to wait for a moment at the entrance door and look behind to ensure all the family are in place and we make our way into the chapel.  I guide the family to their seats and then show them out at the end of the service before taking them back to a local community centre for the wake which is when I take my leave.

I am one of three colleagues at Wathall’s who conducts as well as arranges funerals. I enjoy the variety that the dual role brings and the families also appreciate the continuity of dealing with one person throughout. I started work at Wathall’s as a young lad – making coffins at the workshop in Macklin Street and then started driving. I was made a funeral conductor in my mid twenties and, in those days I was considered quite young for the role.  However, Bill Wathall, my boss at the time and father of our MD Helen Wathall, said I showed promise and took me under his wing and the rest – as they say – is history.

Wednesday

I am in the office all day today and have two very different meetings in the diary.  The first is to arrange a funeral on Zoom with a gentleman’s son and daughter who both live at opposite ends of the country.  This is an option which has continued since the pandemic when we were not allowed to have meetings face to face and it is a good way of ensuring that everyone’s views and wishes are taken into consideration.

The next meeting is with a family in the office who have a very clear idea of what they want for the funeral of their father.  When I first started in this job, funerals were very much prescribed by the vicar but times have very much changed.  The deceased was a huge music fan and the family have chosen his favourite songs to be played in the church.  They have also chosen a stylised coffin to reflect his taste in music.  We handle all sorts of funerals and both Bill and Helen’s mantra has been that we will sort out anything – as long as it is legal!  The most memorable funeral I have arranged and conducted was for a chap who passed away far too early but was a huge Star Wars fan and had left strict instructions of how he wanted his funeral to be. I will never forget leading the funeral procession alongside someone dressed as Darth Vadar followed by a small army of Storm Troopers.  It set the tone for the funeral as being a wonderful celebration of life.

Thursday

It’s a particularly beautiful day in Ashbourne today and, in between phone calls and emails, I am inspired by the sunshine to create a new window display to be enjoyed by passers by in Union Street which is just off the Market Place.  Having adorned the window with bunting for the past few weeks to mark the King’s coronation, I have created a beach scene to reflect the time of year.  Ashbourne has a particularly strong business community and we all try and make our windows as attractive as possible to mark calendar events and special occasions.  As I go outside to check the final details and have a good sweep up in front of the office, I am stopped by various local people who I know – many of whose family members I have arranged and conducted funerals for – and it is great to catch up on family and local news.

I then open the gates for a colleague to is bringing over a local person who will stay here until the funeral next week and the family have requested that they pay their last respects in the chapel of rest.  This is particularly important for family members or close friends who have not had the chance to see their loved one recently and it is a sad but uplifting moment for them in equal measure.

Back at my desk and, just before I close down the computer and head home, I take the opportunity to read through the local Ashbourne News Telegraph which was delivered yesterday.  Having caught up with the local news it is always good to turn to the sports pages to see how Clifton Cricket Club, who Wathall’s sponsor, are doing this season.

Friday

I have another funeral to conduct today – this time from the Derby office in Macklin Street.  I have already arranged the funeral for the family because, as a team we are all flexible regarding the location and the Derby-based colleagues have been particularly busy in recent weeks.

The extended family and friends are scattered across the UK and even overseas so I have worked with a specialist company to ensure this funeral service in the church can be live-streamed which is another positive throwback from the pandemic. After the service, the family have opted for a burial so I guide the family into the graveyard where one of my main jobs is to pass the box of earth around the family members before returning to the car to take them to the wake.

I work the rest of the day from the Derby office.  It is always good to catch up with colleagues even though, I have to admit, I rather like the quiet of being in the Ashbourne office on my own.  I head home with my wife Lynne who also works at the Derby office and we plan to spend the weekend seeing family on Saturday and then heading out into the countryside on Sunday for lunch and a long walk with the dogs.

The post A week in the life – Frank Rigby, Ashbourne branch manager appeared first on Wathalls.

Monday

It’s the start of another week and the day begins, as always with taking our laid back Bulldog cross Millie and very active Border Collie Miles for their morning walk.  They are chalk and cheese but love to start the day either plodding along or dashing after the ball.

My husband Paul also works for Wathall’s as a pall bearer based at Macklin Street so we head off in different directions. I have been at Wathall’s for five years having previously worked in retail management.  I was ready for a change and my sister Sarah recommended that I apply having told me just how rewarding the job is. She was not wrong – I love it here as every day is different.

After opening up the branch on the main road through Borrowash, I check through the weekend’s emails and messages and, most importantly, my ‘to do’ list which is the last thing I do in the office every evening – I do love a list!

I have two very different funeral arrangement meetings today – one by video call with family who lives away and the other is a home visit because the widow has mobility problems so it is much easier if I meet the family in her home.

Tuesday

I prepare for a meeting with a large family who are arranging a funeral for their father at one of the local crematoria.  It’s really important to take cues from the family about the tone of these meetings and, indeed the funeral itself.  The family are adamant that they want the funeral to be a joyful celebration of their dad’s long and happy life. 

Their dad was also a life-long Rams fan and we are DCFC’s preferred partner so I arrange for the family to have the special Derby County coffin, order of service, floral tributes, ties and scarves. We also arrange for a brick to be produced by our sister company Art Stone Memorials which will feature in the memorial area at Pride Park stadium.

After agreeing all the details, we spend time looking through the photographs they have so that I can upload them for the visual tribute that they want to feature in the service. 

Wednesday

On my way into work, I drop off a hamper at a local nursing home so that they can raffle it off to raise money for residents’ outings. Borrowash is a very close-knit community and I have really enjoyed becoming part of that.  Our involvement in the village includes sponsoring Borrowash in Bloom.  The village has been very successful in previous years and I bump into some of the volunteers on the high street who are tending to the tubs and planters to make sure they are at their best when the judges come round for their inspection visit.

People often pop into the branch and one of our local residents, who is also a member of our Dandelions Bereavement Support Group, drops in for a cup of tea.  It is always lovely to catch up with him and he usually pops in once a week for a chat ever since we arranged his wife’s funeral several years ago.

I then prepare for a visit from a family who wish to see their loved one in the chapel of rest ahead of the funeral.  As we are on the border of Nottinghamshire and Derbyshire, we serve a broad community and this family have travelled from the other side of Nottingham – keen to use a funeral director close to Dale Hill natural burial ground which will be their mother’s final resting place. 

Thursday

As soon as I open the door, a local florist arrives with the beautiful floral tributes to a local lady whose funeral it is today.  I determine with the florist which is the main tribute and put them aside safely whilst I make the final preparations and check in the chapel of rest before the hearse arrives. It’s nice to see my husband who is driving the hearse today as we have both had such a busy week it feel like we have been passing ships!

After lunch, I notify colleagues that I am heading out and go to see a couple who are keen to take out pre-paid funeral plans.  It turns out to be a very interesting meeting as they have very clear ideas about how they want their funeral to reflect their lives as keen musicians and we have a nice time filling out the funeral wishes booklet that Wathall’s has designed for this purpose – especially choosing their favourite songs and readings for the service.

Friday

I usually have around five funerals to arrange at any one time and I am a very methodical person so I spend the day double checking all the details of the funerals that will take place the following week.  I contact the families to check they are OK and to follow up any information that is outstanding and also touch base with the ministers and celebrants who are conducting the services to ensure they have everything they need.

It’s also nice to have a new colleague with me in the office today who is training to be a funeral arranger and is shadowing me as part of his training.

I finish for the weekend and head straight to a local garden centre as the forecast is lovely for the weekend and I plan to spend it planting my new vegetable bed which I am very excited about.

The post A week in the life – Anita Fenton, Borrowash branch manager appeared first on Wathalls.

We thought this would be a great opportunity for Fay Bloor, our Grief Counsellor and author of two grief activity books, to share her experience.

“I suppose the first thing to say is that I never thought I’d publish a book.

It wasn’t a life-long ambition, nor was it never on my horizon, it just sort of happened. That said, I’ve always loved reading and language – I’m the annoying one in the office that is a sometimes tad obsessive over correct grammar and punctuation (I’m definitely going to have to get this thoroughly proofed now!) – so that will have definitely helped.

My first book, Missing Someone Special, which is a grief activity book for children came about through Lockdown, as I’m sure many recently published works did. I’ve seen a few similarly themed activity books over the years but always wanted to create something a little unique, that encompassed my experience of working directly with bereaved families at the worst times of their life. When the first lockdown hit, I found myself with a bit of extra time, as many of my usual duties were on hold, so I began just drafting and after much procrastination, it was finished!

I’d drafted the book believing that at most, we would print it in-house for the families we care for. So I was bowled over when Helen Wathall, our managing director, encouraged me to look into getting it published and professionally printed. Self-publishing was quite the adventure, there’s more to it than I’d ever have thought, but it was good fun. So much fun in fact, that I did it all again last year, with Missing You, the adult equivalent of the first activity book.

Anyway, pushing my Imposter Syndrome resolutely to one side, here are some snippets of advice I would pass onto someone writing their first book:

• Find inspiration – If you are not inspired, it’s going to be hard work. I’d recommend instead spending that time reading/watching/listening to related material that inspires you, or talking to others with relevant experiences. It can be frustrating to do this when you’re eager to get going, but I found it to be more productive than staring at a blank Word Document for hours.
• Move your phone out of reach – This one only counts if you’re as easily distracted as me, but sometimes if I’m struggling to word something I’m tempted to reach over and mindlessly scroll, or it’ll ring and I’ll wind up instead working on a completely task. Of course, this point can be true of any distractions that you’re prone to, sometimes I definitely need blinkers on and seem to be distracted by everything.
• Use the resources available – I had no idea how to self-publish, and would still be as clueless without the wealth of knowledge available in books, YouTube videos and the internet. A website I found particularly helpful was https://www.publish-yourself.com/, as it broke down various steps into simple and digestible language. There are also plenty of forums and online groups with others in a similar situation, though use these with caution – they can be off putting if the members are using it as a place to vent.
• Change up your environment – I found that working from the same desk all the time dried up my thoughts. If you find yourself struggling with motivation, try changing up your writing environment now and then, perhaps working from a café or other office if possible.
• Listen to your cheerleaders – My books would still be a Word Document in the corner of my Desktop if it weren’t for the fabulous people around me boosting me back up in the moments that self-doubt hit. I’ll always be grateful to Helen Wathall for believing in me enough to get my works published, and for all the friends that spent their own time proofing each page. Those around you can be vital in the writing process, make sure you’re listening to the right kind of voices.

I hope you find these tips helpful with your own literary creations, can’t wait to see your titles on the shelves one day too!”

The post National Writing Day 2023 appeared first on Wathalls.

Here are five suggestions of things you can do to make Father’s Day a little more manageable for them:

1. Acknowledge that it might be a hard day for them – Grief is hard every day, but some days can feel more overwhelming than others. Special days like Father’s day bring the intense feelings closer to the surface and tend to be jam packed with triggers. There is nothing you, or anyone, can do to make that not hurt, but acknowledging the person’s pain helps to validate it, letting them know that they’ve not been forgotten.
2. Write down your favourite memory/story about their person and give it to them – One of the biggest fears bereaved people can have is that their loved one may be forgotten. Sharing a funny or touching memory about that person with them, be it via a text, a card or in person, is a huge gift. It allows them to smile (and maybe cry) at the good times, and shows them you remember their loved one as someone that lived, not just someone that died.
3. Invite them out… and don’t be offended if they say no – It’s hard for people to know how they are going to feel on the day, for this reason we always recommend that they make any plans flexible and explain to others why. You can really help your grieving friend by communicating with them that you understand this may be the case, and that you are happy to be on standby if they do want to do something together, but will not be offended if it doesn’t feel right for them either.
4. Listen if they need to talk – When grief flares up and the feelings become overwhelming, it’s really helpful to be able to talk it through with someone that won’t try and fix the situation or their feelings, but will just listen and try to understand where they are coming from. Lending your friend an ear if they need to talk, is a simple but priceless gift.
5. Send them a gift – A small, thoughtful gift can let them know that you are thinking about them on this difficult day, and that they haven’t been forgotten even though others are off celebrating the day with their own loved ones. The gift could be anything and doesn’t have to cost a lot – maybe some flowers, a photo gift of their loved one or even something to help them like a grief journal such as the one we created.

If you would like any more advice on helping a bereaved friend, please do not hesitate to contact Fay Bloor our Bereavement Counsellor on fay.bloor@wathalls.co.uk.

The post 5 ways you can help a friend this Father’s Day appeared first on Wathalls.

“I can’t believe that it’s been ten years already! I remember the very first training walk we did in the September before, we walked 8 miles around Carsington Reservoir and all of us were limping by the end of it. We had no idea how we were going to manage 3 times the distance in one go, let alone 5 days running.

“I’d only officially joined the company at the start of September and was helping prepare displays for our open day. Helen walked past and asked “Fay, do you want to walk to London?” With my mind on the task in hand, I replied “Yeah ok” and only later thought about what I’d roped myself into. It was a great opportunity to get to know my new colleagues better, as we were out on training walks together every other weekend, seeing much of our beautiful countryside in the process.

“We’d trained all winter, come rain or snow, so when the week of the walk arrived and we were hit with a heatwave, everyone’s boots fit differently and we practically had shares in Compeed Blister Plasters, but managed to laugh our way through the pain.

I don’t think the sight of Big Ben will ever not make my knees ache, but walking Derby to London was a fantastic experience and it was great to raise all that money to help bereaved parents and children get the support they need.”

The post 10th Anniversary of the Wathalls Walk to London for The Laura Centre appeared first on Wathalls.

I start the day as I always do – meeting with a friend at 6am for a brisk walk. We complete our favourite 3.5 mile circuit and I feel invigorated and up for the challenges ahead this week.

Mondays are always busy catching up with new instructions from over the weekend.  Every family who contacts us following the death of a loved one are asked which branch they would like to visit. Having been established in Allestree for nearly two years with our branch on a prominent position on the A6, we are a popular choice for families in this area.

I contact families who have chosen Allestree to introduce myself, find out as much information about their plans as I can and then set up a meeting in the branch.  I like to try and confirm a date and venue immediately so that families can start making plans so I spend the day sorting out the new instructions.

Tuesday

Today I have two different meetings with families to arrange their loved one’s funeral. Although it is always a sad time, meetings to sort out all of the paperwork and talk through the funeral arrangements are not always sombre affairs – especially when the family is determined to make the funeral a celebration of their loved one’s life.

Sometimes, the deceased will have had a funeral plan or filled out one of our free ‘My Funeral Wishes’ booklet so everything from key decisions such as burial or cremation to details about the music, flowers and coffin will be very clear.  However, not every family is keen to talk about death and the most challenging arrangements are when families are totally in the dark about what their loved one would have wanted. It is my job to offer up all the different options and gentle guide families through all the decision that need to be made. 

I spend the rest of the day putting plans into place for both funerals.  I used to work for the Mid Derbyshire MP Pauline Latham before I joined Wathall’s and that certainly taught me how to organise events and organise a busy person’s diary.  At any one time, I can have at least five funerals to organise and our computer system is great to ensure that every little detail is sorted.

Wednesday

I get into the office bright and early as the Derby team are bringing us the body of a lady who will be with us until her funeral the following week. I call the family and they immediately say that they want to visit her and to lay some personal items in her coffin. We always recommend embalming both for hygiene reasons and to ensure that all family members have the chance to visit their loved one.  This is particularly important for family members who live away and have not perhaps had a chance to say goodbye before their passing.  I prepare the chapel of rest at the branch and the family come to visit which they find to be a very healing experience.

As well as sorting out all the arrangements, one of my jobs is to match a family with a celebrant or minister who will conduct the service in the way that they want so I contact celebrants or ministers who I think would best match the families I met yesterday and am delighted that they are both available.  I pass on the information so that they can contact the families to discuss the services.

I then have a very different job in the afternoon – meeting up with a colleague to discuss what events we can support in our local community this year. Wathall’s is a family-owned business, established in Derby for more that 160 years, and has always been part of the local communities that we serve.  As a local person, I obviously want to support the Allestree area so I look forward to investigating various events further and opening up discussions on how we can be involved.

Thursday

I share the offices here with Fay and Sarah who are our bereavement counsellors and they have a busy day of appointments and it is my job to meet and greet clients as they arrive. I always make sure that my families know about the amazing support that we offer through the Dandelions Bereavement Support service which they, along with families who we have not arranged the funeral for, can access at any stage of their grief journey.

I have a meeting of my own in the other private office with the daughter of a lady whose funeral we recently arranged.  As is often the case, many people realise the benefits of taking out a funeral plan when they are faced with making the arrangements themselves for a loved one.  This lady is doing just that – determined that her own children will not have to make any difficult decisions when she passes away.

The last job of the day is to sort out some post funeral arrangements.  We offer some lovely ashes jewellery memorials and our sister company Art Stone Memorials design and install memorials for graveyards, crematoria and even gardens.

I sort out the orders for two ashes jewellery necklaces for two sisters who lost their mum earlier this year and I also contact Amy at Art Stone Memorials about a cremation plaque that a family want to order.

Friday

We have two funerals today – one in the morning and one in the afternoon and it is my job to do the final checks, including removing jewellery and placing any items in the coffins that the family have requested.

Many people don’t realise the difference between a funeral arranger and the funeral director on the day who is in charge of the proceedings.  The funeral director who is in charge today has already contacted both families so we discuss any final changes before the coffin is placed in the hearse and the cortege leaves to meet the family. My most memorable funerals have been a campervan hearse and a horse drawn carriage – both of which certainly brought the traffic to a respectful standstill.

I spent the rest of the afternoon ensuring that all the information is up to the date on the funeral planning system and contacting all my families to check they are OK, finalise any outstanding information such as orders of service and finding out if any more members of the family wish to visit the chapel of rest.

I try and finish on time on a Friday as I am heading up to Liverpool first thing in the morning to visit my eldest daughter who is at university there.  As well as spending a lovely day together, I always stock up the food cupboards to ensure she can cook healthy meals for herself.

The post A week in the life – Amanda Howitt, Allestree branch manager appeared first on Wathalls.

Like anything in grief, this task is very personal so, what helps one person may not help another. The most important thing is to listen to what feels right for you and to go at your own pace as much as possible.

We know that it isn’t always possible to take as much time as you would like to sort through a loved one’s belongings, particularly if their home has to be sold or cleared within a certain timeframe. This said, try and give yourself as much time as possible to work through everything. If the house needs to be empty by a certain date but you still have belongings that you are not sure what to do with, consider taking them back to your own house or placing them in storage somewhere until you are ready to work out what to do with them.

If you lived with your loved one when they died, so their belongings are in your home, do not pressure yourself to sort through them immediately after their death.  Feelings can change over time and in the first few weeks and months after the loss, we tend to feel a little numb.

When sorting through the belongings, if possible, break the task down into sections and decide how long you want each sorting session to be. Perhaps decide to work through one room at a time and set time limits on how long you spend on the task at a time, trying to do it all at once can feel overwhelming and may put you off wanting to start altogether. Allow yourself time to reminisce as you are going along as well, you will more than likely come across items that evoke memories of your loved one which are important to experience and help to place their death in perspective of their life.

Implementing a system of categories can be a helpful way to sort through their things, perhaps try:

• save for me
• save for others
• sell
• donate
• throw away
• unsure – to decide upon another time as you don’t want to rush into a decision with these that you later regret.

Think also about how to support yourself on the days that you are sorting through their things and whether it be helpful to have someone with you to help you do it. If so, who would be the best person to ask? Try to pick someone that will allow you to talk through any memories that come up from certain items. Even if you have told them that memory before, in grief we tend to need to tell our stories over and over again as our minds adapt to the news that someone is gone. Therefore, choose someone that will patiently allow you to do that without trying to rush you through the memory.

Make sure also, that the person you choose to help you will allow you to experience any emotions that come up during the process, rather than trying to fix them or make you feel better. The outlet of emotion is a vitally important part of working through your grief. Feeling like you cannot honestly express how you are feeling will not be helpful when sorting through your loved one’s things.

If you come across an item that you want to remember but that is not practical to keep, consider taking a photo of it instead. That way you still have a reminder of the object without it causing any problems. If your loved one’s home has to be sold, you could also take photos of that so you have a lasting reminder, perhaps these pictures could be put into a memory box or album when you are ready.

Working through belongings can be a tiring and emotional process so take care of yourself as you do so and be sure to talk through any emotions that come up with someone that you trust. If you wish to talk through anything mentioned in this blog or have any questions, contact Fay Bloor, our Bereavement Support Coordinator on 01332 345268.

Wathall’s have also teamed up with the Salvation Army to arrange collection or accept donation drop offs at any of our branches of textiles, clothing, accessories and shoes. Please click here to visit our page for more information about this service.

The post Sorting through a loved one’s belongings appeared first on Wathalls.

In celebration of English Tourism Week 2023 (March 18 to 27), the managers at each of our branches have selected their top two local attractions – whether cultural, sporting or of local historical interest.

Alvaston

• Moorways Sports Village
• Calke Abbey

Borrowash

• Elvaston Park
• Bennerley Viaduct

Chaddesden

• Chaddesden Park
• Bluebell Dairy and Farm

Allestree

• Kedleston Hall
• Allestree Park

Ashbourne

• Carsington Water
• Heritage Wood (including the Derby and Ashbourne Dandelions contemplation area)

Burton

• Stapenhill Gardens
• Clay Mills Victorian Pumping Station

Derby City Centre

• The Museum of Making
• Derby Cathedral

The post Exploring and Supporting Our Local Communities appeared first on Wathalls.