• Exercise – Even a gentle stroll around a park or outdoor space helps to get some extra steps in for the day. It’s no secret that even gentle exercise has numerous health and wellbeing benefits, such as helping to boost mood, helping to manage weight, as well as an increase in self-esteem and energy levels, all things that are often affected when someone we love dies.
• Vitamin D – Important for your immune system, energy levels as well as mood, bones and blood cells, being outside provides us with essential Vitamin D – even when it’s cloudy. Bereaved people often find themselves frequently run down and picking up colds more often, the natural boost in Vitamin D can help with this.
• A break from screens – Modern life often dictates that we spend half of our time in front of a screen of some sort or other. Being out and about in nature gives us (and our eyes) a much-needed break from that.
• Helps you to meet new people – Quite naturally when we’re out and about, we bump into new people and may stop for a brief chat, or leave it at a friendly hello, but even that can help to fight some of the loneliness that grief can bring. It stops us feeling invisible, and like life is just going on around us.
• Improves concentration – Studies suggest that the constant demands on our attention and time can severely impact our ability to concentrate, not to mention the brain fog from grief. Luckily, studies also show that time out in nature can give us that much needed break, and help to heal our concentration.
• Helps to relax you – Having a break from focusing on the day to day worries and stresses helps you to find some moments of peace, relaxing you and making everything feel just that much more manageable.

At Wathall’s we’ve sponsored two areas of reflection in areas of peace and beauty, so that our families and others can enjoy a quiet moment in the healing outdoors. Heritage Wood at Ednaston can be found be found at the postcode DE6 3AE, and Poppy Wood  at Melbourne can be found at the postcode DE73 7GE.

The post The benefits of being outside appeared first on Wathalls.

The Grief Journey programme is part of Wathall’s Dandelions Bereavement Support service which also includes support groups in Derby and Ashbourne, 1-2-1 counselling and bespoke training programmes for businesses and organisations.

The daytime Dandelions Grief Journey Programme will be held at St Peter’s Church in the city centre on four consecutive Monday afternoons (2pm to 4pm) in March, June and November. 

Evening programmes (between 6pm and 8pm) will be held at Derby Rugby Club in Haslam’s Lane in February, May and October.

The Grief Journey Programme is run by specially-trained Wathall’s staff and has been designed to equip people with the tools, knowledge and a fresh mind-set to come to terms with their grief and help them work towards their future.

Helen Wathall MBE is the fifth generation of her family to head up Wathall’s.  She said: “Grief is an individual experience and each person’s emotions and feelings are unique and personal.

“People join us at various times after bereavement – whenever they feel that they need support.

 “It is not formal counselling but the opportunity to be part of a group that explores the grief process and emotional pathway to help bereaved people cope with adjustments to life as it is now and the ‘new normal’.

 “The sessions are very informal and people are welcome to bring along a friend for extra support.”

Pre-booking is essential for the free programme with further information available here https://www.wathalls.co.uk/bereavement-support/grief-journey-programme/ or contact bereavement support coordinator Fay Bloor, Tel: 01332 345268 or email fay.bloor@wathall.co.uk

The post Special Programme Supports Bereaved On Their Grief Journey appeared first on Wathalls.

The team here at Wathall’s has organised the memorial service since 2008 – inviting families who have lost loved ones during this and previous years.

We were joined by members of Dandelions Bereavement Support groups in Derby and Ashbourne as well as representatives from local churches, charities, hospitals and nursing homes.

The early evening inter-faith service included Christmas carols, readings and finished with the moving poem by a 13-year-old boy ‘My First Christmas in Heaven’.

Staff from Wathall’s branches then served refreshments and families were invited to light a candle and hang a message of remembrance on a memory Christmas tree.

Managing Director Helen Wathall MBE is the fifth generation of her family to run the company.

She explained: “Christmas can be an especially difficult time of year when the ‘empty chair’ at the table is particularly poignant – regardless of how far people are in their grief journey.

“The Celebration of Remembrance and Hope is therefore a welcome opportunity for people of all faiths, or no faith, to remember loved ones and draw on the calm positivity that runs through this service.”

For information about help available through Wathall’s Dandelions Bereavement Support service, please visit https://www.wathalls.co.uk/bereavement-support/

The post Memorial Service Gives Families Time to Remember Loved Ones appeared first on Wathalls.

Monday

I am in the Derby branch today at Macklin Street but, looking at the diary, I will be working at various branches this week so it is certainly going to be a varied one for me. My job is very wide ranging which I love, and that probably sums up my working life so far. Having worked in a children’s nursery, then a secondary school supporting students who were deaf, I joined Wathall’s nine years ago. I started my job being based in Derby as receptionist and answering the phones but this has evolved over the years.  Having said that, Monday is always a very full day and the majority of it is spent answering the phone and either liaising with colleagues or handling enquiries myself.

Tuesday

I am back in Derby first thing to receive the cremated remains which are delivered from the crematorium.  When the ashes are delivered, I log them all onto our database and let the arrangers know they have arrived, so that they can contact the families and arrange collection.  Receiving the ashes is a very important part of the grief journey for families so it is imperative that it is handled correctly. Mid-morning I head over to our Allestree branch to cover for branch manager, Amanda Howitt. Now that everybody is working on the same system – it is quite a simple process to look after a branch if the manager is on annual leave or spending a day out of the office visiting families. After closing up the branch, I then head off to Derby Rugby Club with my colleague Fay Bloor, to run the evening Dandelions Bereavement Support Group. This is in addition to the two daytime groups which meet monthly in Ashbourne and twice monthly at St Peter’s Church in Derby city centre.

Wednesday

I am at the Borrowash branch today and, after the hearse arrives to pick up a coffin first thing, the diary is pretty clear so I get on with some of other jobs.  I collate the feedback forms which are, 9 times out of 10 – very positive, but there are occasionally some that have constructive feedback which is just as useful.  I check who has been involved in that particular funeral and share with colleagues as it is important for everyone to see what the family has said.  In the afternoon, I meet up again with Fay, this time to help deliver the Grief Journey session.  I particularly enjoy this part of my job, supporting people who have suffered a bereavement to develop the tools, knowledge and a fresh mindset to come to terms with grief and work towards their future. People are often signposted to us by their GP or other health professionals and we aim to have a maximum of six people so that everybody has the chance to talk things through. It is particularly rewarding when someone opens up about their feelings for the first time, I finish the session with a mindfulness exercise to ensure everyone leaves calm and relaxed. 

Thursday

Today I have been asked to visit the Alvaston branch to support the manager there who has a meeting with the daughter of a lady who has passed away.  The daughter is hearing impaired and as I am British Sign Language (BSL) trained – I am there to ensure that communication is free flowing and that her wishes are fully met.  Since I am already at the branch, I stay there for the rest of the day following up on some appointments and handling enquiries that come through.

Friday

Today I am back at the Derby branch, which is a hive of activity as everyone is trying to get as much done as possible before the end of the week. I spend a lot of Friday answering the phones, which means often I am the first point of contact with families. I take the initial enquiries and start to get the arrangement process rolling for them.  The day flies by and I leave the office looking forward to a long walk with my husband Frank – who is based at our Ashbourne branch – and our two Beagles followed by lunch at our favourite country pub.  Sunday will then be busy with the grandchildren coming over for the day and a family lunch.

The post A Week in the Life of Lynne Rigby appeared first on Wathalls.

Sue North (68) worked at St Andrew’s Academy in Oakwood for more than 25 years before she retired and was also a loving wife mother, nan and great-nan with a close-knit family living in and around Chaddesden.

When she died suddenly, her husband Ken and daughters Lisa and Donna were determined to do something special in her memory that would reflect her caring and nurturing nature.

Instead of flowers, mourners at Mrs Susan North’s funeral service were asked to make donations which have been used to buy 37 copies of a children’s bereavement activity book ‘Missing Someone Special – working your way through loss.’

The book was written by Fay Bloor who is a trained counsellor and bereavement coordinator at Wathall’s funeral directors who made the arrangements for the North family.  The illustrations for the book were created by University of Derby graduate, Michael Ashley featuring woodland creature characters.

The book has been published as part of Wathall’s Dandelions Bereavement Support service and gently explains practical things such as what happens at both burial and cremation services as well as highlighting the importance of sharing emotions following a bereavement.

There is also space for children to write down their happy memories of the loved one they have lost and express their feelings through words and pictures.

The books will now be given to families with children who are struggling with bereavement and, in turn, Wathall’s has donated a proportion of the book price to Treetops Hospice children’s bereavement service.

Sue’s husband Ken explained: “Sue had a special way with children – whether that was her own family or the children at St Andrew’s who she worked with.  She was also a real nature lover and the illustrations in the book of animals, trees and flowers really resonated with me.

“We have therefore bought copies of the books for Wathall’s to give to families they feel in most need.

“We feel that this is a perfect tribute to Sue who is so sorely missed by everyone she knew and loved.  She had time for everyone and was constantly being stopped for a hug by former pupils at St Andrew’s and their families who she supported.

“Our children, grandchildren and now great grandchildren were her world and all miss her dreadfully but we hope that the donation of these books will help other families who face the same grief as we all do.”

Wathall’s Fay Bloor added: “This is a lovely tribute to Sue who, by all accounts, was a wonderfully kind, loving and caring person.

“I wrote the children’s bereavement activity book during Covid. Adults often feel like they must protect children from the harsh reality of death and are obviously mourning a loss themselves.  However, avoiding the discussions can cause confusion and anxiety for the child.

“The reality is that children are extremely resilient and can deal with the truth, if it is explained to them carefully in an age-appropriate way.

“The activity book is therefore designed to gently explain what has happened and the kind of words and phrases that they have perhaps heard people discussing.

“It also highlights the range of emotions that they may be feeling, from anger to guilt, and encourages them to express these in the book which families can then use as a starting point for reassurance and support.”

For more information about how to apply for one of the bereavement support books and about the Dandelions Bereavement Support Service, please email fay.bloor@wathalls.co.uk

The post Husband and Daughters Make Fitting Tribute to Loving Wife, Mother, Nan and Great-Nan appeared first on Wathalls.

There’s a sense of finality around New Year’s Eve that can be difficult when you are grieving, whether this 31st December marks the start of your first year without them, or whether it marks another year since you last saw them, it can be tough. Please remember to make time to look after yourself and practice self-care during this time.

Bereavement counsellor Fay Bloor recently wrote this blog which we hope will help you or someone you love feel less alone.

https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/new-years-eve-grief

Wishing everyone a peaceful New Year, from all at Wathall’s.

The post New Year’s Eve Grief appeared first on Wathalls.

I realise that for many of you, this past year has brought an unexpected twist in your life journey. I am always very conscious that when someone you care about dies, your world changes. For you, the world looks and feels different and with it this Christmas. For everyone else, it is the season to be jolly; it’s the most wonderful time of the year. But understandably, you probably don’t feel the same about your world this festive season.

So, this year, I would like to give you three gifts for a grieving Christmas. My first gift is for you. Maybe you are facing this Christmas season with dread. Here are a few suggestions:

• Recognise this Christmas is different.
• Plan ahead. Decide what you want to do. Act rather than react.
• Re-examine your priorities.
• Avoid “should do’s” and “ought to’s”
• Make the changes that you think are best.
• Take responsibility for your own happiness.
• Look after yourself. Don’t abandon healthy habits.
• Be compassionate with yourself if things are not perfect this year.

The next gift focuses on your loved one. They may be gone, but I am sure they will be very much on your mind:

• Acknowledge your loved one’s presence.
• Create a special tribute to your loved one. Involve children in this if you can.
• Light a memorial candle to remember them at this season.
• Be honest about your feelings and be sensitive to what they are trying to say.
• Don’t be afraid to relive your memories.  After all, it’s those loving memories that help us to keep them alive in our hearts.
• Let the light of the Christmas’s past shine on the event, rather than letting the event cast its shadow of this Christmas.

My final gift has to do with others around you like family and friends, who are probably grieving too:

• Balance solitude and sociability.
• Ask for AND accept help.
• Set differences aside
• Learn to say ‘No’
• Take a break from things.
• Try to find something positive in your life.
• Take care of any children that may be involved.
• Try to do something to help someone else who is hurting.
• Remember, there will be other Christmas’s, even though that may not help THIS one.

Finally, we need to face the future with hope. There’s a little verse in the Christmas story of the Wise Men that often goes unnoticed. After finding the baby in Bethlehem, they returned home “by a different route.’ They had to find a different road forward than the way they had come. When you have experienced bereavement, you suddenly find life has taken on a whole new direction.  We find ourselves and our lives, having to go on in a whole new direction. Sometimes in life, we have to find new ways to get to where we need to be.

Perhaps you face this Christmas with some apprehension and, this year, you feel like the light has gone out of your life. Nothing seems quite right and you wonder if you have the strength to go on.  But my friends, no matter how dark your situation, remember one thing: there is not enough darkness in the whole universe to hide the light of even one candle. Even when there is a flicker of hope, that spark overcomes the gloom. It may not banish it completely, but it is never all dark as long as there remains one glimmer of hope. Hope means “the expectation that good is yet to come.”

So light a candle in memory of your loved one, but also for yourself … to indicate that you believe there is hope for you to find your way through the darkness, even though life has taken an unwelcome turn and you are heading home in a different direction than the one you expected or even wanted.

So, this Christmas season:

• Celebrate the person’s life as well as acknowledging their death.
• Don’t allow looking back at the past to spoil what you have in the present.
• Enjoy what you have, as well as grieving what you have lost.
• Believe there are reasons to go on, even though you may not see what they are right now.
• Believe in people and in life, in love and laughter and in hope!
• Believe in yourself, that your determination will help get you through.
• Believe that no matter how difficult your circumstances that life is important and can still be meaningful.
• Believe in a brighter tomorrow and in possibilities beyond even your bravest dreams.

After Christmas, a New Year.  But what does it hold for you?

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. I just don’t have the willpower. Besides, the moment you ‘blow it’ (which is usually by January 2), you give up on your resolutions and slip back into more of the ‘same old, same old’ I prefer to set goals. Things I want to accomplish in the coming year. Goals are something you can keep working towards.

For you, maybe this past year has brought many changes. Sometimes after a loss, the way we see everything in our world changes. At times we may even regard ourselves differently. But we have to be careful.

The real problem is not the circumstances, but how we view these situations. Sometimes we need to check the glasses through which we look at our world. Are the “spectacles” through which you filter your view of things giving you an accurate picture? What’s your vision for next year; the goals you want to reach; the accomplishments you want to fulfil; the places you want to go?

But you may ask, how do I set goals for this new year in light of what has happened? Let’s see if we can make it easier.

One of Stephen Covey’s ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ is: begin with the goal in mind. Imagine where you want yourself to be one year from now in the various aspects and compartments of your life and then work back setting manageable objectives that will enable you to reach your desired goals.  Remember, I said ‘manageable’ 

Write these intentions down on paper. What would next year have to look like to make it ‘better’ for you?

What would you like your life to look like a year from now? What personal goals and ambitions would you like to reach?

What would you have to do to bring about that happy outcome? How about family? What would bring the people closer and make the next festive season one of thanksgiving?

Only you can determine the things you write down on that paper. But when you have done it, you have a vision. You have established goals and now you must set objectives by which, step by step, day by day throughout next year, you can build towards making that vision a reality.

I find my own goals are getting more personal and I like to think, more focused on what is really important in life.

My goal is to listen more.

My goal is to offer more random acts of kindness. More notes left on the counter for my wife, or frequent words of appreciation to people like checkout counter staff, or (and I mean no disrespect) the ‘little people’ in life who far too often are neglected, mistreated or unappreciated. It makes their day … and it also makes mine.

My goal is to laugh more. Let’s send more email cartoons, clever articles or jokes to each other. We all need a good laugh now and then.

I would like to take more chances and not play it ‘safe.’ I also want to travel lighter in life.

‘Someday’ and ‘one of these days’ are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it’s worth seeing, hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. Why wait, when it may never happen if you do.

My goal is to show a cheerful disposition. Try to lift people’s spirits, or surround yourself with people who have a knack of doing that for you.

Whenever possible, make life a pattern of experiences to savour, not to endure.

Even though at my age I have more time to look back on than to look forward to in my life, I’m going to try to live next year as if it were my last, while doing everything I can to ensure that it isn’t. For people who take that attitude, the best is always yet to come.

As Peter Drucker puts it: “The best way to predict the future is to create it” So, believe in yourself and try to stay positive and if you do, you will have a better New Year. 

You can find more information and guidance on Grief and Bereavement by Dr Bill Webster at his helpful and informative website at: www.GriefJourney.com

The post A Meaningful Christmas appeared first on Wathalls.

Sending sympathy cards is a simple and thoughtful way of us sharing a few kind words to those that need them the most. It’s something we can do in a situation wildly outside of our control. Here are some of our tips on how to approach writing a sympathy card.

• Avoid using clichés, instead write from the heart. If you don’t know what to say, be honest and say that – you’ve still reached out and shown that you care. Quoting clichés can sound less genuine and some, like “time heals”, can be more infuriating than helpful.
• Avoid any sentence that contains the phrase ‘at least’. Whilst it’s often said to help the person see the good that remains, it tends to feel like their pain is being invalidated and often causes people to feel lonelier or even angry instead.
• Be specific about the help you are willing to offer. None of us like asking for help, but it’s a lot easier when someone’s offered to help with specific aspects such as cooking, childcare, a shoulder to cry on etc. Similarly, please don’t offer help if you know you don’t have the capacity in your life at the moment to follow through with it.
• Don’t assume you know exactly how they feel, even if you’ve had a similar loss. Grief is as unique as each of us, so whilst we can have a good idea of what someone might be feeling, assuming that you know exactly often isn’t helpful.
• Feel free to share a fond memory of the person that has died, but be aware it might be too much for the bereaved to read straight away. It’s still a great gift as it shows them that their loved one is remembered, and that other people will miss them too. It’s just that even the happiest memories can feel bittersweet when that person is no longer with us.
• If in doubt, draft your message out first on a scrap piece of paper, often wording can feel different in our head to when it’s written on paper.

If you have any questions, or for further support, please visit our website by clicking here or email fay.bloor@wathalls.co.uk.

The post Tips for Writing Sympathy Cards appeared first on Wathalls.

Wathall’s, which is Derby’s longest established independent funeral directors, organises the memorial service every year – inviting families who have lost loved ones during this and past years.

They will be joined by members of Dandelions Bereavement Support groups in Derby and Ashbourne as well as representatives from local churches, hospitals and nursing homes.

The early evening inter-faith service will include Christmas carols, readings and will finish with the moving poem by a 13-year-old boy ‘My First Christmas in Heaven’.

Staff from Wathall’s branches in Derby city centre, Allestree, Alvaston, Ashbourne, Burton, Borrowash and Chaddesden will then serve refreshments and families are invited to light a candle and hang a message of remembrance on a memory Christmas tree.

Managing Director Helen Wathall MBE is the fifth generation of her family to run the company.

She explained: “The memorial service is an opportunity to remember their loved ones at what is an especially difficult time of year.

 “We organised the first service in 2008 and it has grown every year with some people returning every December to remember a family member – joined by those who have been more recently bereaved.

 “Every year we support a charity at the service and this year’s donations will be go towards Marie Curie, the UK’s leading end of life charity who provide incredible care and support for so many of our families.”

For more information about the service please email info@wathalls.co.uk

The post Annual Service Gives Families Time to Remember Loved Ones appeared first on Wathalls.

I have a full day of counselling clients today who I see in the special room that has been created in one of our newest branches, Allestree. It is a lovely, calm space which is ideal for clients to relax and open up about their feelings.

The counselling service is part of the expansion of our Dandelions Bereavement Support Service which was set up by our MD Helen Wathall. Having started at Wathall’s on work experience as a teenager, I was offered a job to train as a funeral arranger and, as part of my progression I helped out at the Grief Journey and Dandelions Support Group sessions.  I was also given the opportunity to start training in counselling and hypnotherapy.

My clients’ circumstances are totally unique.  Some are recently bereaved and others are still struggling to come to terms with their loss after several years. Whilst grief is the main focus of the sessions, often past life experience impacts how and why people react in various ways, so you never really know what is going to come up in a session and certainly no two days are the same.

Tuesday

I do not have any appointments today, so I shut myself away for a writing and admin day.

I regularly write blogs covering various elements of grief, and many are inspired by snippets of conversations with counselling clients and group members.  I have recently written a blog about coming to terms with medical termination of a pregnancy, and this was published on the Counselling Directory website. Today I want to delve deeper into anxiety as part of grief, which is an interesting subject that seems to come up a lot in both the counselling and group sessions.

I’ve really enjoyed getting into writing over the last few years, starting with me writing my first of two grief activity books back in 2020. The two books, one aimed at adults and the other at children, aim to help people work through their emotions and move forward in light of their loss. I’m currently in the earliest stages of drafting my third grief activity book, so watch this space!

I then head off to Derby Rugby Club with my colleague Lynne, to run the evening Dandelions Bereavement Support Group. This is in addition to the two daytime groups which meet monthly in Ashbourne and twice monthly at St Peter’s Church in Derby city centre.

Wednesday

I have set up an Etsy shop from which to sell my workbooks and the sympathy cards I designed a little while ago. So, having received some email orders overnight, I start the day by packaging these up and sending them out.

I’ve also set up a Facebook and Instagram account (@FayBloorBooks) to help raise awareness around my books, as well as being a place to share articles I’ve written, news about my next projects and grief quotes I like. It’s quite important to post at least semi-frequently, so I spend some time this morning creating a ‘reel’ on breaking bad news to children, in the hope that someone somewhere may find it useful. It’s definitely a bit of a learning curve managing social media pages, but I’ve had fun learning how to do certain aspects of it and finding new content to post.

In 2020 we commissioned the Hug After Loss giftboxes which are distributed through a local company, so I drop them a quarterly email to them to see how sales are going.  These are a great alternative for people to send flowers to friends and family and they also include our Dandelions grief journal which is a great outlet for the tricky feelings of grief.

On that note, I spend the afternoon at St Peter’s Church delivering the Grief Journey session which is designed to equip those who have suffered a bereavement with the tools, knowledge and a fresh mindset to come to terms with grief and work towards their future. The four-week programme is free of charge and runs six times a year. We meet once a week for a two-hour session that covers how grief affects people, confronting emotions and loneliness.

After a heavy but constructive session, I head off to an aerial hoop class which I love.  When you are suspended in the air holding onto a hoop for dear life, you don’t think about anything else, the only downside is the multiple bruises that develop the next day!

Thursday

After a counselling client first thing, I spend the rest of the morning catching up with some admin work.  This includes booking the next trip for our Dandelions members. We recently visited Tatton Park which was fabulous, the next trip will be to Chatsworth at Christmas – always a popular trip as it’s something to look forward to in what is often a difficult month for those that are grieving.

In the afternoon I log on to a webinar that I’m delivering for a large solicitor’s firm, who are keen for their Wills & Probate and Family Law teams to have a greater understanding about grief and bereavement, so that they can better support their clients. Presenting online is certainly out of my comfort zone, I would much rather do this in person, though it’s good to do new things and it means we can reach more people and spread awareness wider. Thankfully it goes well, and I get some positive and constructive feedback which I can use for future training sessions.

Friday

I am in the Derby head office today in Macklin Street and, after a meeting about our social media presence, I’m asked by a colleague who is struggling with some personal issues to sit down for a chat.  I’m one of Wathall’s three Mental Health First Aiders – a great idea in any workplace, I’d fully recommend the course.  I listen to the issues that my colleague is facing, and we talk about their options. Sometimes people just need to be listened to, sometimes they need guiding to find the most appropriate help. As it turned out, one of the groups provided by Derby County Community Trust (of which we are a partner) seemed to fit his needs well, so I passed on the details for him to look into further.

I finish work a little earlier today, having worked through a lunch hour earlier in the week, so it’s time for some last-minute packing (is there any other kind?) for one of many weekends in Whitby, my favourite place to visit without getting on a plane.

The post A Week in the Life of Bereavement Support Coordinator and Counsellor – Fay Bloor appeared first on Wathalls.

Here are five suggestions of things you can do to make Father’s Day a little more manageable for them:

1. Acknowledge that it might be a hard day for them – Grief is hard every day, but some days can feel more overwhelming than others. Special days like Father’s day bring the intense feelings closer to the surface and tend to be jam packed with triggers. There is nothing you, or anyone, can do to make that not hurt, but acknowledging the person’s pain helps to validate it, letting them know that they’ve not been forgotten.
2. Write down your favourite memory/story about their person and give it to them – One of the biggest fears bereaved people can have is that their loved one may be forgotten. Sharing a funny or touching memory about that person with them, be it via a text, a card or in person, is a huge gift. It allows them to smile (and maybe cry) at the good times, and shows them you remember their loved one as someone that lived, not just someone that died.
3. Invite them out… and don’t be offended if they say no – It’s hard for people to know how they are going to feel on the day, for this reason we always recommend that they make any plans flexible and explain to others why. You can really help your grieving friend by communicating with them that you understand this may be the case, and that you are happy to be on standby if they do want to do something together, but will not be offended if it doesn’t feel right for them either.
4. Listen if they need to talk – When grief flares up and the feelings become overwhelming, it’s really helpful to be able to talk it through with someone that won’t try and fix the situation or their feelings, but will just listen and try to understand where they are coming from. Lending your friend an ear if they need to talk, is a simple but priceless gift.
5. Send them a gift – A small, thoughtful gift can let them know that you are thinking about them on this difficult day, and that they haven’t been forgotten even though others are off celebrating the day with their own loved ones. The gift could be anything and doesn’t have to cost a lot – maybe some flowers, a photo gift of their loved one or even something to help them like a grief journal such as the one we created.

If you would like any more advice on helping a bereaved friend, please do not hesitate to contact Fay Bloor our Bereavement Counsellor on fay.bloor@wathalls.co.uk.

The post 5 ways you can help a friend this Father’s Day appeared first on Wathalls.

Like anything in grief, this task is very personal so, what helps one person may not help another. The most important thing is to listen to what feels right for you and to go at your own pace as much as possible.

We know that it isn’t always possible to take as much time as you would like to sort through a loved one’s belongings, particularly if their home has to be sold or cleared within a certain timeframe. This said, try and give yourself as much time as possible to work through everything. If the house needs to be empty by a certain date but you still have belongings that you are not sure what to do with, consider taking them back to your own house or placing them in storage somewhere until you are ready to work out what to do with them.

If you lived with your loved one when they died, so their belongings are in your home, do not pressure yourself to sort through them immediately after their death.  Feelings can change over time and in the first few weeks and months after the loss, we tend to feel a little numb.

When sorting through the belongings, if possible, break the task down into sections and decide how long you want each sorting session to be. Perhaps decide to work through one room at a time and set time limits on how long you spend on the task at a time, trying to do it all at once can feel overwhelming and may put you off wanting to start altogether. Allow yourself time to reminisce as you are going along as well, you will more than likely come across items that evoke memories of your loved one which are important to experience and help to place their death in perspective of their life.

Implementing a system of categories can be a helpful way to sort through their things, perhaps try:

• save for me
• save for others
• sell
• donate
• throw away
• unsure – to decide upon another time as you don’t want to rush into a decision with these that you later regret.

Think also about how to support yourself on the days that you are sorting through their things and whether it be helpful to have someone with you to help you do it. If so, who would be the best person to ask? Try to pick someone that will allow you to talk through any memories that come up from certain items. Even if you have told them that memory before, in grief we tend to need to tell our stories over and over again as our minds adapt to the news that someone is gone. Therefore, choose someone that will patiently allow you to do that without trying to rush you through the memory.

Make sure also, that the person you choose to help you will allow you to experience any emotions that come up during the process, rather than trying to fix them or make you feel better. The outlet of emotion is a vitally important part of working through your grief. Feeling like you cannot honestly express how you are feeling will not be helpful when sorting through your loved one’s things.

If you come across an item that you want to remember but that is not practical to keep, consider taking a photo of it instead. That way you still have a reminder of the object without it causing any problems. If your loved one’s home has to be sold, you could also take photos of that so you have a lasting reminder, perhaps these pictures could be put into a memory box or album when you are ready.

Working through belongings can be a tiring and emotional process so take care of yourself as you do so and be sure to talk through any emotions that come up with someone that you trust. If you wish to talk through anything mentioned in this blog or have any questions, contact Fay Bloor, our Bereavement Support Coordinator on 01332 345268.

Wathall’s have also teamed up with the Salvation Army to arrange collection or accept donation drop offs at any of our branches of textiles, clothing, accessories and shoes. Please click here to visit our page for more information about this service.

The post Sorting through a loved one’s belongings appeared first on Wathalls.

Fay said; “It’s important to remember that your feelings are a natural reaction to drastic changes in your life. This is not weakness or failure to cope, it’s a completely normal way to respond. 

“Fear and anxiety is one of the most common experiences among people who have been bereaved and, yet, it is one we tend to overlook when talking about what people might feel after the loss of a loved one.

“I decided to write this article to acknowledge the emotions and challenges that people in this situation may face.”

The full article has been published on Counselling Directory and can be read here.

The post Anxiety after loss appeared first on Wathalls.

According to statistics, nearly 60% of households in the UK own a pet and yet pet loss is one of the most frequently disenfranchised types of grief.

Our animals are part of our lives for years, often over a decade, yet when they die we rush ourselves to ‘get over’ the loss, it can feel almost embarrassing to be so distraught, telling ourselves to ‘get a grip’ and they were ‘just a dog/cat/horse/rabbit etc.’.

Of course, that just isn’t true. Our pets are never just an animal that we happen to share our homes with, they’re family members with unique personalities of their own. They make us laugh, they make us cross when they misbehave and they comfort us when they sense we are down – just as any other family member does.

When a human dies, we lose more than just the person, we also lose everything that they brought to our lives and the same is true in pet loss.

We lose the warm reception when we arrive home, our walking buddy, our non-judgmental listener, our mischief maker, our loyal companion, our routine, the one we cuddle up with to watch television and often the escapism spending time with our animals provides.

Pets bring so much to our lives that there is a huge gap when they are gone, yet we don’t feel comfortable openly grieving for them, simply because they are not human.

Quite often there are additional factors that make grief for a pet somewhat complicated.

Often it is up to us to decide that it’s time for them to be put down – to be kind and prevent their suffering, rather than them dying naturally. Making the call to have a pet put down is hard, often people worry that they’ve let their pet suffer too long before making the decision or wonder about the ‘what ifs’ of if they’d waited a little longer.

This is a normal grief response, it’s natural to question whether you did the right thing when you’re backed into making an impossible decision like that.  Even though you know it’s in your animal’s best interests, making that call to the vet is guilt inducing, heartbreaking and selfless, and your feelings are valid.

Another complication pet owners sometimes face is not being able to afford the life saving medical attention their animals need and, if they don’t have insurance, they have no options. This often leaves them feeling heartbroken and guilty.

Although this can be a difficult situation to compute, it’s important to remember that you loved your animal and did the very best you could for them at the time with the knowledge and resources you had available.

Sometimes the death of a pet can unlock hidden grief for past losses, meaning you face two lots of grief at once, which can be overwhelming. Due to busy lives people often don’t have chance to process the death of a loved one and so it can lay dormant until something unlocks it, like the death of a pet.

This can be confusing for both the person grieving and those around them, but is not unusual. Just take the feelings as they come and work through both losses at your own pace.

As with any other type of grief, it is important to allow yourself to mourn the loss of a pet, here are some ideas on how:

• Journal your feelings about their passing, write about what you miss most, what hurts the most, your favourite memories with them and how you are currently feeling.
• Talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling, choose someone that you know will be non-judgmental and will not try and ‘fix’ the problem, but will just listen.
• Have a small memorial area for them in your garden where you can sit and remember them. Art Stones Memorials, which works closely with Wathall’s, have a lovely range of pet memorials, which is an important part of the grief journey after losing a beloved pet.  For more information, please visit https://art-stone.co.uk/services/pet-memorials/
• If they were cremated, perhaps have an ashes scattering ceremony with those closest to you, it can be nice to scatter the ashes somewhere you and your pet made a lot of memories together, or where they seemed happiest.
• Keep photos of them, just because they are gone does not mean they have to be forgotten, they will always be an important part of your life and thinking about them and keeping photos does not mean you are ‘stuck’ in your grief.

But most importantly, allow yourself to grieve and be patient with yourself. Don’t put pressure on yourself to hurry through the loss and feel better, just take the days as they come and remember that it is ok, and normal, to feel the way you do.

For more information about Dandelions Bereavement Support and counselling available through Wathall’s, please contact Fay Bloor by email fay.bloor@wathalls.co.uk or telephone 01332 345268.

The post Grieving The Loss of a Beloved Pet appeared first on Wathalls.

For those who are grieving the loss of a partner, whether this is your first valentine’s day or tenth, it can be a particularly painful time of year.

We have put together some pieces of advice which we hope will help you through the run up to Valentines day.

Most of the time, avoidance isn’t encouraged as this can create a negative impact on the grieving process, accepting what has happened is one of the first steps to building your life after a bereavement.

However, this doesn’t mean that if you feel like you aren’t emotionally strong enough to deal with something right now, that you must put yourself through it. If you want to avoid all things valentines related, you do that. Just know that you aren’t going through this alone, there are so many people who are feeling lonely and broken on Valentine’s day, after all, it is the day to show appreciation for the one we love, it’s always going to be difficult if the one you love is gone.

Here are some suggestions on how to get through the day:

• Ignore the day exists completely – although this may be quite difficult, if you do decide to do this, perhaps avoid listening to the radio, looking on social media or watching TV as adverts, conversations and images will be a reminder of the day you’re trying to avoid. Be prepared, record a TV programme, buy a new movie, invite over a friend who is also avoiding the day, make sure you are doing something that you enjoy.
• Allow yourself to be miserable for the day – it’s OK to let yourself be miserable every once and a while. But just remember, you aren’t alone in your misery. There are so many people experiencing grief on valentine’s day.
• Reinvent your valentine’s day perception and change the way you think about the day. Isn’t valentine’s day supposed to be the day for celebrating love? Choose to celebrate love of a different kind – the love of a friend, the love of your family, even the love of your favourite movie.
• Try something new, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it again.  Some ideas include volunteering for the day, inviting your friends over for dinner, plan a fun night out with others you know have experienced a loss, send a card or flowers to a friend or family member who you know is also suffering on valentine’s day.
• Love yourself. Whilst we are in the mist that is grief, we often forget to look after ourselves – slipping into a rut of unhealthy choices. Take this day as an opportunity for some much-needed attention on yourself, whether this be exercise, a nice long bath, a haircut. If it makes you smile, it’s worth doing.

Remember to recognise your limitations and don’t push yourself to do something you feel unable to do. Whatever plans you do make, make them flexible as you cannot guarantee how you will be feeling on the day.  For more support, please contact our counsellor and bereavement support coordinator Fay Bloor. Tel: 01332 345268 or fay.bloor@wathalls.co.uk

The post Coping with Valentine’s Day appeared first on Wathalls.

The Grief Journey programme is part of Wathall’s Dandelions Bereavement Support service which also includes support groups in Derby and Ashbourne, 1-2-1 counselling and bespoke training programmes for businesses and organisations.

For easier access, the daytime Dandelions Grief Journey Programme has moved to a new venue at St Peter’s Church in the city centre on four consecutive Monday afternoons (2pm to 4pm) in March, June and November.  Evening programmes (between 6pm and 8pm) will be held at Derby Rugby Club in Haslam’s Lane in February, May and October.

The Grief Journey Programme is run by specially-trained Wathall’s staff and has been designed to equip people with the tools, knowledge and a fresh mind-set to come to terms with their grief and help them work towards their future.

Helen Wathall MBE is the fifth generation of her family to head up Wathall’s.  She said: “Grief is an individual experience and each person’s emotions and feelings are unique and personal.

“People join us at various times after bereavement – whenever they feel that they need support.

 “It is not formal counselling but the opportunity to be part of a group that explores the grief process and emotional pathway to help bereaved people cope with adjustments to life as it is now and the ‘new normal’.

 “The sessions are very informal and people are welcome to bring along a friend for extra support.”

Pre-booking is essential for the free programme with further information available online or by contacting Wathall’s bereavement support coordinator Fay Bloor, Tel: 01332 345268 or email fay.bloor@wathall.co.uk

The post Special Programme Supports Bereaved On Their Grief Journey appeared first on Wathalls.

Fay said; “I’ve spent quite a bit of time recently thinking about the people we often forget when someone dies, the people supporting the bereaved. It’s not easy seeing someone that you care about struggling through grief’s difficult emotions and being unable to take the pain away from them. Not to mention that the death can force changes within your life, even having never met the person that died.

“I decided to write this article to acknowledge the emotions and challenges that people in this situation may face.”

The full article has been published on Counselling Directory and can be read here.

The post Grief’s Ripple Effect appeared first on Wathalls.

The activity book entitled ‘Missing You’ was written by Wathall’s bereavement support coordinator and qualified counsellor Fay Bloor, and illustrated by University of Derby graduate and freelance illustrator Michael Ashley.

Fay and Michael first collaborated to create ‘Missing Someone Special – working your way through loss’, which was published last year, aimed at children and young people who have suffered a bereavement.

The latest book ‘Missing you – working your way through loss’ aims to offer the same standard of in-home support, but relevant to adults.

It includes a section dispelling common myths around grief, explanations on why people may be experiencing certain feelings and mixed emotions and suggests practical ways to help, such as filling out a journal or simple ways to commemorate loved ones.

Fay Bloor, who runs Wathall’s award-winning Dandelions Bereavement Support service, explained: “We have had very positive feedback to the children’s bereavement activity book and many families then asked if we could do something similar to help adults navigate their grief journey.

“There is still such a taboo around talking about death and the complex emotions surrounding grief, that I wanted to create something that would help people better understand, and feel less alone in, their own feelings and provide an outlet for them to write down their own experiences as part of the healing process.

“Michael has created beautiful illustrations for the book which perfectly set the gentle and calming tone of the book.

“I am also particularly grateful for the members of our own Dandelions bereavement support groups for contributing their own experiences and emotions, which I am sure will help others come to terms with their grief.”

To order a copy of either or both of the activity books, please order online CLICK HERE telephone Wathall’s on 01332 345268; email fay.bloor@wathalls.co.uk  or visit one of the branches in Derby, Allestree, Alvaston, Ashbourne, Borrowash, Burton-on-Trent or Chaddesden.

For more information about Fay Bloor, visit https://www.faybloor.com/ and for more information about Michael Ashley, visit https://michaelashleyillustration.wordpress.com/about/

The post Activity Book Helps People Navigate Their Grief Journey appeared first on Wathalls.

Fay said; “I’ve spent quite a bit of time recently thinking about the people we often forget when someone dies, the people supporting the bereaved. It’s not easy seeing someone that you care about struggling through grief’s difficult emotions and being unable to take the pain away from them. Not to mention that the death can force changes within your life, even having never met the person that died.

“I decided to write this article to acknowledge the emotions and challenges that people in this situation may face.”

The full article has been published on Counselling Directory and can be read here.

The post An Impossible Choice – Grief after a medical termination appeared first on Wathalls.

Fay said: “I’ve based a lot of the points in this article off conversations that I’ve had in the counselling room over the past few weeks, as it’s a theme that has come up repeatedly as the big day looms.

I’ve also included some tips on how to make the season a bit more bearable.

Take care of yourself this Christmas season, just because you celebrate (or don’t) a certain way this time, doesn’t mean it’s the way you have to do it always going forward. Listen to what feels right and most importantly of all – be gentle with yourself. Grief is hard work, particularly at the times of year where we want our loved ones around the most, you deserve your patience and compassion.”

The full article has been published on Counselling Directory and can be read here.

The post Christmas Dread appeared first on Wathalls.

Visitors to the natural woodland and lake over two weekends in November and December can follow a beautiful trail of sparkling lights, see a rainbow of lasers and delight in a musical  light show on the lake and then enjoy refreshments and stalls.

The latest support from Wathall’s has contributed towards lighting around the contemplation clearing where the company has previously installed a six foot stainless steel dandelion structure and a sturdy oak table and bench for visitors to sit and remember their loved ones.

The illuminated woodland walks will take place between Friday November 25 and Sunday November 27 and then Friday December 2 to Sunday November 4 between 4.30m and 7.15pm.

Helen Wathall MBE is the fifth generation of her family to run Wathall’s which has offices in nearby Ashbourne as well as Allestree, Alvaston, Borrowash, Burton, Chaddesden and Derby.

She said: “Heritage Wood is a popular place to dedicate a tree and we have always enjoyed visiting the natural woodland as a family because it is so peaceful and tranquil and the perfect place to be at one with nature.

“We have, over the years, worked in partnership with Heritage Wood to create a focal point in the contemplation clearing with the dandelion sculpture and bench which are dedicated to the members of our Dandelions bereavement support groups who meet regularly in Ashbourne and Derby.

“I am delighted to now be supporting the illuminated woodland walk which is a popular annual celebration of this special place and look forward to enjoying the uplifting atmosphere with the other visitors.”

Family-owned Heritage Wood was first established in 1988 as an area for people to dedicate a tree to a loved one – either in their memory after they pass away or to mark a milestone in their lives. So far more than 8,000 trees have been planted and there is capacity for almost as many again.

Further information and tickets for the woodland walks are available at www.heritagewood.co.uk

For more information about Dandelions Bereavement Support Service please visit Our Bereavement Support Page or call 01332 345268.

Picture shows: the illuminated dandelion sculpture during last year’s Woodland Walk

The post Wathall’s Helps Light Up Heritage Wood appeared first on Wathalls.

Fay said: “This article ‘Complicated grief – grieving the death of an abuser’ was inspired by a book I read by the talented Sandra Reddish, One in Four Women.

The book details, in simple and easy language, the different types of abuse that can occur in domestic situations, how they may present, and what keeps the survivor in that situation in the first place. It’s a very insightful and accessible book, which I would urge everyone to read whether they work with domestic abuse or not, it never hurts to understand someone’s situation a little better, but has the potential to be life changing.

Sandra’s book got me thinking about how being in that situation would complicate grief, if the abuser was the one to die. It’s not something I’ve often seen talked about, which can only add to the loneliness of an already isolated situation.

The full article has been published on Counselling Directory and can be read here.

The post Complicated grief – grieving the death of an abuser appeared first on Wathalls.

Our wonderful counsellor, Sarah Legg, has joined the team providing high quality bereavement support to children as young as 8 years oldright the way up to teens and young adults. Sarah has plenty of experience in supporting young people of various ages, as they work through significant losses as well as many other problems.

The counselling sessions will take place in our specially designed counselling room at our Allestree office on Duffield Road, and cost £40 per hour.

Sarah was part of the Bereavement Support Team at Wathall’s back in 2016, but had to leave due to family commitments. Since then, she has been busy completing a Post Graduate Course in Integrative Counselling & Psychotherapy, and in 2020 she qualified with a Level 5 Professional Diploma in Psychotherapeutic Counselling. Sarah is also an accredited member of the National Counselling Society. We are delighted to have Sarah back with us, and look forward to offering her services to the young members of our community.

To book in a session with Sarah, please email sarah.legg@wathalls.co.uk or call 01332 345268 and request a call back from her.

The post Introducing Our New Children and Young Person’s Counselling Service appeared first on Wathalls.

Bereavement support groups come in various forms – from formal talking circles to relaxed befriending groups, from small gatherings to larger factions.

Whatever form they take, such groups are an opportunity to allow grieving people to talk about their loss and feelings openly with others that understand and, by providing peer support and empathy, groups help attendees to feel less alone in what they are going through. Some also have trained facilitators who can offer additional support to those who need it.

If you’re looking for support, it might be worth trying a couple of groups to see which one is the best fit for you. Everyone’s needs are different so different group layouts will appeal to different individuals.

What are the benefits of a bereavement support group?

Whilst everyone takes something slightly different from bereavement support groups, the most common benefits include:

• A chance to be heard: Commonly in grief, it can be hard to talk to those closest to us for fear of upsetting them or having them worry about us. Or sometimes we just don’t have anyone we can talk to about how we’re feeling. Bereavement support groups offer the chance to be listened to which helps to make sense of all that has happened.
• They validate our feelings: Talking about our feelings with others who understand where we’re coming from validates our feelings, making us feel less alone with them and helping us to heal.
• They help fight loneliness: Being surrounded by people doesn’t guarantee that you won’t feel lonely. You’re missing that one specific relationship and nothing can fill that gap. However, talking to people who are going through something similar and being understood can help you feel less alone in your grief journey.
• A chance to meet new people: It’s common that friendships can change after a significant loss. People often find that some of their friends tend to withdraw and distance themselves if they are uncomfortable around your hurt. Bereavement support groups are a good chance to meet new people who won’t be afraid of your emotions, because they have them too. They can relate to your new situation and you can lean on each other for support. Many of the attendees of our Dandelions bereavement support groups contact each other between group meetings, some have even been on holiday together.
• Gives a purpose for the day: It can be hard to stay motivated at times when grieving a loved one. It can feel like our purpose has disappeared and that no one would notice if we just stayed in bed and hid from the day (which is fine to do upon occasion). Attending a bereavement support group is a personal mission for the day. It’s something to get up and moving for, as well as bringing you the benefits listed above.
• They often have shorter waiting lists and are cheap to attend: Groups can accommodate more people at a time so often have short or no waiting lists. They also tend to be quite flexible – giving you the freedom to just turn up rather than having to book and are often free or only a few pounds to attend. This makes them a useful interim method of support if you’re on a waiting list for 1:1 formal counselling.

Conclusion

Grief is a personal experience so, what works for one person, might be unhelpful for another. The best advice we can give is to try a group or two and see how you feel about them. If they aren’t for you, it’s worth looking into alternative methods of support and finding something that suits you best.

If you’d like any information on the bereavement support options available through Dandelions, please contact Fay Bloor on 01332 345268 or fay.bloor@wathalls.co.uk or by visiting https://www.wathalls.co.uk/bereavement-support/

The post Benefits of a bereavement support group appeared first on Wathalls.

Why might I grieve the death of a stranger?

Whether the person in question was famous, or you knew of them through other people you know, there are many reasons why you might find their passing difficult:

• The person might have been a constant in your life – in an ever-changing world, there’s something reassuring about a celebrity or public figure that has been constant throughout the years. Whether it’s a musician whose songs you can always count on to calm you, or a public figure that represents stability through uncertain times, losing that constant shifts the landscape for everything else that happens in your life.
• You might identify with how they died – perhaps the circumstances of their death were similar to those of someone close to you, bringing all the difficult feelings of that time back. Or maybe the person’s death was particularly tragic or harrowing, which is naturally difficult to hear about and it’s natural to feel upset by them.
• Their death might feel like the end of something – Some people seem to define an era, if they’ve had a big impact on a certain area of time, whether through the arts, or through change they’ve brought about, when they die it can really feel like the end of something big and important, yet not tangible.
• Perhaps we relate them to someone we miss – Maybe we have memories about the person that’s died, that are connected to loved ones we’ve previously lost, which can dredge up underlying grief for the good times (or tricky ones) with that person. Maybe your loved one was a big fan of them, and you feel the grief they’d have felt if they were alive today.
• They might have been your safety blanket – Some famous people are our light in difficult and uncertain times. Perhaps they star in shows or films you watch for comfort, perhaps their music soothes you when you’re in emotional distress, or perhaps they’re someone you can count on to be calm and consistent regardless of what is going on in the world. Losing people like that can make the world feel a little less bright and hopeful.
• The person might have been important in something – Perhaps they were instrumental in a movement or organisation that you support and now you’re uncertain about the future of it. Perhaps their death means there will be changes in certain areas of your life, which can be anxiety inducing.

What is Disenfranchised grief?

Grief that is not openly acknowledged, validated, or publicly observed can become disenfranchised. When someone we’ve never met dies, we can feel like we don’t have the ‘right’ to be upset about it, making it difficult to talk about our feelings for fear of being deemed dramatic or overly sensitive. However, our grief for a stranger can be very real, for the reasons mentioned above as well as others. Disenfranchised grief can be very lonely, as it can be hard to talk about it with others, for fear of being judged, it is important to treat the emotions that come up seriously and extend compassion to yourself at this time.

What helps?

As with any grief, there’s no ‘one size fits all’ fix and you may find that some things help when others don’t, just keep experimenting and listen to your feelings.

Here are some examples of things that might help:

• Allow yourself to explore what you are feeling and validate your emotions. Try writing them down in a journal, it might help you to understand them.
• Reach out to friends and family you can trust for support without feeling judged.
• Perform a ritual, such as lighting a candle, in memory of that person.
• Join an online forum for that type of loss and interact with others in a similar situation.
• Write a letter to the person that’s died, thanking them for everything they brought to your life.
• Seek additional support from organisations or charities that specialise in bereavement support.

Remember

No one can take away your right to grieve, take your time and be gentle with yourself as you work through the difficult feelings. It’s ok to be sad and have difficult days, but make sure you also plan in treats that will give you a boost, to help balance it all out.

For more information on our bereavement support services, please contact Fay Bloor on 01332 345268 or fay.bloor@wathalls.co.uk

The post Grieving someone we don’t know appeared first on Wathalls.

Wathall’s have joined DCCT’s Trust Partners programme. In the first instance, the company’s bereavement support coordinator and qualified grief counsellor Fay Bloor is providing training and bereavement awareness sessions for DCCT staff.

The aim is to enable staff to support colleagues as well as members of public – from children to older people – who benefit from the Trust’s nationally-recognised community programme.

DCCT group members will also be signposted to Wathall’s Dandelions Bereavement Support services if they need further support following a bereavement. These include free Grief Journey programmes and support groups in Derby and Ashbourne. 

Likewise, people who have lost a loved one and are supported by Wathall’s will be put in touch with DCCT whose community programmes focus on mental health and wellbeing, physical activity and activities to combat social isolation.

Helen Wathall MBE is the fifth generation of her family to run Wathall’s and is a lifelong Rams fan.

She said: “DCCT and Wathall’s have much in common – not least a goal to support the health and wellbeing of people in our local communities who are at a low point in their lives. Therefore, becoming a formal Trust Partner of the charity was a natural progression for us.

“Grief affects different people in different ways.  However, losing a loved one – whether that is recent or historic – often leads to physical and mental ill health as well as loneliness and social isolation.

“By sharing our expertise and resources with DCCT, I hope that we can add even greater value to the fantastic work that the Trust does in our local communities.

“We will also be better placed to signpost our Dandelions members to an appropriate DCCT group which I know will greatly benefit many of them as they come to terms with their new normal after losing a loved one.”

DCCT Head of Community Simon Carnall added: “Bereavement is an inevitable part of life and our partnership working with Wathall’s will help us as an organisation to better support our colleagues and people in our local communities alike.

“This work perfectly illustrates the creative ways that the local business community can support the Trust – taking relationships far beyond corporate giving to provide mutually-beneficial support that has the potential to make a long-lasting positive impact on many, many people’s lives.”

For more information about opportunities to support DCCT, visit https://www.derbycountycommunitytrust.com/fundraising-and-events/join-our-network and for more information about Wathall’s Dandelions Bereavement Support programme, visit https://www.wathalls.co.uk/bereavement-support/

The post Partnership Opens Up Wider Bereavement Support appeared first on Wathalls.

The new branch in Nottingham Road, Chaddesden, joins the existing branch network of Macklin Street in Derby city centre, Allestree, Alvaston, Ashbourne, Borrowash and Burton-on-Trent.

The new branch, managed by long-standing Wathall’s employee Sarah Yeomans, was officially opened this week by two city councillors representing the Chaddesden ward – Jonathan Smale and Jerry Pearce – who welcomed Wathall’s to the area.

Cllr Jonathan Smale said: “It is great to see a well-known family business expanding in the city and particularly into the Chaddesden area.

“Nottingham Road is a thriving business community and I know that the neighbouring businesses will extend a warm welcome to Wathall’s.”

The refurbishment of the building was overseen by business development manager Bec Wathall who is the sixth generation of her family to work in the company.

She said: “There has been a great deal of interest in the office opening – particularly when we uncovered the old post office sign above the front door during the refurbishment.

“We are delighted with the results of the refurbishment which has provided us with a comfortable and easily accessible environment where families can feel at ease as they pre-plan and arrange funerals and visit their loved one in the Chapel of Rest.

“We also have sample memorials and all the information available for our sister company Art Stone Memorials to enable families to choose a lasting memorial to their loved one – whether that is for their own garden or the cemetery where they are laid to rest.”

Managing director Helen Wathall MBE concluded: “I have wanted to open a branch in Chaddesden for sometime to better serve the local community here who have previously come to our other Derby branches.

“We look forward to becoming part of the Chaddesden business community and are particularly grateful to the two local councillors for their warm welcome and good wishes.”

The post Chaddesden Branch Now Open appeared first on Wathalls.

In simple terms, the memorial clearly indicates where a person or their ashes are buried so that family and friends can visit to remember and honour the memory of the person who has died.

They are however much more personal and meaningful than that so the responsibility of organising a memorial after losing a loved one can seem like a daunting prospect and yet another thing to organise when you are already facing the difficult emotions of bereavement.

Creating the right lasting memorial to a loved one is just as important as the funeral service and with the right support, can be another healing step in your grief journey.

Rather than being a time-consuming process with potential to become a source of conflict between family members, this should be regarded as a positive and healing experience.

However, it should not be rushed.

Some families feel that they should get on with installing a memorial as soon as possible – concerned that others might think they are neglecting the grave. 

However, in reality and for practical reasons, choosing and erecting a stone memorial often cannot be completed straight away.

This is particularly the case following a burial if the churchyard or cemetery does not have pre-installed concrete beams as the ground needs time to settle. In fact, many cemeteries and churchyards recommend waiting 12 months before the headstone is erected.

Ordering a cremation stone can be much faster and simpler process, but it is still important to make considered decisions as these memorials equally stand the test of time and will also be around for future generations to discover.

Talking to colleagues at our sister company Art Stone Memorials, I have been amazed at the complexities of this process and the importance of their in-depth knowledge of all the permissions required under strict rules and regulations relating to the size, style and inscriptions permitted on memorials. So it really is worth obtaining the advice of those in the know.

Whilst it is tempting to forge ahead with these big decisions to create a sense of closure and to tick off your ‘to do’s’, my advice would be to take a breath after the funeral to process all that has happened.

Once you are ready, and sure of what you want, then gently start the process with a company such as Art Stone Memorials who will guide you through the whole process.

Please visit their website https://art-stone.co.uk/ or call them on Burton: 01283 539 531;

Derby: 01332 949 374.

This blog is written by Fay Bloor, bereavement support coordinator and counsellor at Wathall’s.

The post Creating A Lasting Memorial appeared first on Wathalls.